Harry Potter and Dr Who's Discworld adventure
by Hamfast Gamgee
Summary: A crossover between Discworld, Harry Potter and Dr Who! Discworld's Wizardry is soon in trouble. Can the intervention of Harry Potter the unfortunate victim of a Stibbons magic experiment save it? And I'm sure this teacher called the Master is harmless
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and Dr Who's Discworld adventure.

This is a triple crossover between Harry Potter, Dr Who and the Discworld. As an introduction, Harry Potter finds himself transported to the Disc as an unfortunate byproduct of an interesting magical experiment. My stats tells me that people are still visiting this tale. This is good, but although I did write this a long time ago, reviews would be greatly appreciated, please, please, please, please!

It was a dark, cold night with a few stars, but some clouds as well. There was a forest and some little clearing. A whirling noise was heard and someone saying, 'Ouch,' A small boy stood up looking puzzled. The boy was dressed in a Wizard's outfit complete with Hat, robe, trousers and shirt with runes. He scratched his head.

The boy's name was Harry Potter. His game he wasn't sure of. He was in his fourth year at Hogwarts. In fact he was about to compete in a complex challenge, but some people where practising the transporting spell. A bit too much it seemed. Harry remembered a buzz then a loud bang then finding himself a few feet in the air, but with no time to react not for long.

He presumed he had just been transported to some place he didn't intend to be. But Harry needed to get his bearings. Harry did see a building in front of him which looked similar to Hogwarts, but not so. Harry was just about gathering himself when he heard a voice saying to him, 'Oi, there, you!'

Harry looked upwards. Three older boys also in Wizard outfits but a little different approached him. They drew their wands and didn't look friendly in the cold night. 'Well, well, well, look at this, a stranger'

'With some clothes like ours!'

'Like a Wizard but not, he is trespassing, I suggest we give him the typical strangers welcome.'

'We don't like strangers,'

'Please, where am I, I'm a little confused,' asked Harry friendly.

'Confused and you will be bruised. You are outside the grounds of Warby as if you didn't know and we Wizards from Snakey don't like people prowling around. Staring at us. This information will cost you'

'A few cuts, bruises, broken bones possibly. I'm bored. Come on lads,' Harry seemed due for a beating. But he bravely drew his own little wand and shouted, 'Avenco!'

This had no desire effect on the older boys. 'What was that?' sniggered one,

'Do you know I think it was a jelly-legs spell. Trying to give us jelly-legs. Mine do feel a bit wobbly, even. Now that wasn't very friendly. What about giving him an Itching curse? Take him days to loose that. With some curry rubbed on the eye-balls, got some Sniffy? Draw wands hold him!'

Harry Potter was outnumbered and outwanded. This wasn't Hogwarts and he appeared to have taken a wrong turning. Things where about to get ugly, when another boy about his age, appeared and talked to the bullies, 'Hey guys heard about Professor Craching, he fell from his office and it all fell everywhere. His potion that his! You should have heard him curse!' The boys laughed losing their attention to Harry.

The boy who was clearly a comedian continued, 'Hay, here's one. What do you get if you jinx an explosion curse with patrol powder. Don't know. Well, no-one hangs around long enough to have found out!' This created a laugh. 'Come now, it's almost dinner. Best get it fresh shouldn't we boys?' The bullies laughed, shook the boy's hand and walked of, totally forgetting about Harry.

The boy introduced himself. 'Rincewind. You should be getting in. Those 3 seem to have lost interest, but you shouldn't wonder around here by yourself.'

'Where am I and what's going on?' asked Harry in some confusion.

'Ah. Now that's a little complex. This is Warby school of Wizardry, Witchcraft and all things magical. The actual world is known as the Discworld. Whatever you have been taught about astronomy, foget it for now! You have been unwittingly caught in a little experiment which got out of control. But one or two other people might explain that. Possibly!' Rincewind grinned.

Harry was lead across the stony grounds, under some trees a large, beamed stone doorway, inside the buildings of Warby. He was taken to a room where several adult Wizards turned to look at him. Teachers. They had to be. Wizard teachers everywhere seemed to have a familiar look about them.

All dressed in flamboyant Wizardry robes in a similair manner that Harry recognized from Hogwarts. Rincewind said, 'Here he is. A casualty from our recent experiment. You said that something odd happened, didn't you? His name's Potter. Harry Potter. Potter, our Teachers!'

One particularly large and old Wizard stood up and greeted Harry, 'Welcome and our apologies. You are probably a bit confused as what has just happened. But Master Stibbons here, will explain!'

A younger member of the Teachers stood up and coughed. 'Thank you, head! Yes, Harry you see I was conducting a bit of an experiment on checking out some omissions from the lower dimensions and the levels of Giyuoku was higher than I expected. I should really have pulled out, but it was curious and I am afraid that with a mixture of grade 3 Warlocking, I, er, pulled the strings of the Dimensional reality and you have been moved out of your place in Space/Time over to us. The problem is, we can't really sent you back so you're stuck here for the moment. Is that clear?'

Oddly enough, while everyone else was a bit confused by Stibbons ramblings which was rather typical of him, Harry understood this. He had recently been reading something about it, actually!

'So, what do I do now?' Harry asked.

The head answered, 'You stay with us. You're a young schoolboy Wizard after all. We should stick together. And besides, young Stibbons here wants to keep an eye on you. He says this could be a "fascinating interaction of Wizards culture from different dimensions" is that right?' Stibbons nodded.

One Teacher spoke up, looking Harry direct in the eye, a tall, dark-haired man with a face as hard as nails, 'But don't expect any special favours, Potter. We'll treat you just like any other student. No favourites here!' The man looked and acted very much like Harry's least favorite teacher at Hogwarts.

'Your name's Snape, right?'

'Wrong and don't be so familiar, you little foreigner. Names Sniverley, actually!'

'Oh, come, commme SSSniverley, don't be so grumpy,' said a rather nervous looking teacher. We should offer our guest a proper welcome!'

Sniverley gave Potter a look of pure venom. Harry sighed, 'here we go again,' thought he!

'Well, that's settled then. We'll just get you Sorted and sorted, haha, you need to find out what house you're in after all! I'm sure you'll find your time here most enjoyable, and perhaps knowledgeable. Welcome to Warby.' finished the head. It might not have been politic of Harry to do so, but he couldn't help but look at the size of the head's belly! In fact all of the Wizard teachers seemed to be of more weight than those he had been used to. Maybe there was good cheer to be had at Warby!


	2. Chapter 2

The next week was full of fast and exciting events. Harry was sorted by a similair method to that of Hogwarts but found himself in a different house. It was called Loserium, an old world meaning joyful. It was the same house as his friend Rincewind, but he found that most of the other houses referred to it as 'Losers,' because they lost everything! Miserably last in the house league, no-where near the top at Squiffy a Wizard game, but more on Squiffy later! Curiously enough the only thing they where good at was at the actual lessons and skills of Magic, but who cares about that?

The School of Warby was full of large corridors, windows, rooms and 6 floors. Some where dark and musty, others full of light, others large of many colours. Children older and younger scampered around the corridors. Occasionally one of the many castle ghosts could be seen wandering about in their transparent fashion.

Then there where the lessons themselves. Well, as Harry had found magic seemed to be magic everywhere. But there where of course a few differences and Harry found himself ahead in some things, behind in others. Most of his teachers made allowances.

Most. One exception was Sniverley. In his first lesson, in one of the more gloomy classrooms, seemingly befitting to Sniverley's personality, Sniverley said with sarcasm, 'Well, we have our guest here. I wonder how he will adjust to different situations. We'll see. Friend of yours isn't he Rincewind? Must come from one country your dad didn't run away from!' Rincewind was in one of the back rows, but not the very back. He tried to hide his head some of the class sniggered.

'Yes, I hope you know that Rincewind senior was one of the worst and most cowardly Wizards in the Disc. Quite how his son has survived here without been expelled I don't know. Sit down, Rincewind now you little worm!' Sniverley's slow, low voice could be heard clearly across the dusty classroom. 'Potter! What would I get if I mixed a Hiryuol with a Postgranate?'

Much to Sniverley's disgust Harry popped up wtih the correct answer, 'A bestoid, Sir, one of the eight common elements!' he had been warned that Sniverley would pick on him with questions like this so he was prepared. A little lucky, though, Sniverley might have asked another one he didn't know! Sniverley's face was a picture of hatred. 'Sort of correct,' he replied with a snarl.

Someone muttered, 'well that deserves five points for Loserium,'

Sniverley snapped, 'All right, Potter, which of these is a Graveyard Experilum?' showing him 3-d pictures of 6 liquids all very similar to Harry and asking a question which, frankly, would have puzzled advanced magic level Wizards. Harry was about to answer when Sniverley said, 'Don't know, Potter, too slow, number 3 of course! I think I will take a point from Loserium for your ignorance,' the Loseriums sighed.

The lesson didn't improve. Harry was a little nervous and so tried to mix his slow, melting, thick liquids carefully as one could easily make mistakes in Highly Complex Chemicals, the lesson. But half way through Sniverley snapped, 'Potter, are you planning to be here all day? You don't want to eat this evening? I will take another point from Loserium for your sloth!' Potter left the lesson a little confused and wandering about Sniverley's loathing of him.

'Wouldn't worry about that. He probably just hates you because of me. He's just like that. Everyone hates Sniverley. Well apart from those in house Snakey. One wonders why he's such a powerful teacher. Next in line to the Head, people say! explained Rincewind later, sympathetically as Harry tucked into his evening meal.

'Wand working well?' asked a girl sitting next to them a companion of Rincewind's.

'Seems to be doing roughly what I want it to do!' replied Harry. Harry had actually been giving an old one from the Head. He looked around at the large hall, full of benches, students cheating merrily and the teachers. The food was hot and varied with Rincewind introducing him to something he had never tried before called Curry. That was interesting!

Later on that evening there was a nasty incident, however. Harry was visiting the East wing of Warby and saw a number of large, curious-looking rooms. Firstly he saw Sniverley marching down towards him. Sniverley hadn't seen him, so Harry decided to duck behind one of the silvery, metal statues. As Sniverley marched by, scowling, Harry caught a glimpse of another teacher simply known as the Master.

Well, the Master had been friendly to him, giving him a welcoming smile, 'I exist only to serve you,' he had said. Admittedly he had problems sometimes keeping control of his lessons but never mind. The Master gave him a friendly smile.

Harry heard a noise and looked in one of the large chambers. As the door slammed shut he saw a ghastly creature. 'Get down!' said a voice next to him, and Harry quivered next to Rincewind. 'That's a Sturliop, straight from the Dungeon Dimensions, my father encountered one once!' stammered Rincewind in fright.

The Sturliop looked at them and based out a claw at Harry. It was 10ft, scally, red and Harry wasn't sure but it looked like it could breathe fire. 'Legendous!' cried Harry giving out a fireball spell at the creature, but it just flicked it away. 'Wan't quite strong enough,' Harry said.

When Rincewind gave a try. 'Redimoium!' he commanded giving what he thought was an exploding spell. Unfortunately the only effect this had was to give Harry a very fetching false moustache! Harry sighed and shook it of. Clearly Rincewind's magic was unpredictable at best! Rincewind tried again and aimed his wand at the door and giving it an opening spell.

This had the effect of causing the door to snap open and half the celing to fall down upon them. 'Well, come on then,' advised Harry and the two of them dashed across the falling debris out of the door as the creature roared. The fall of bricks, so Harry presumed caused the creature to disappear.

But then he saw the Master appear in the corridor. For a second a flash of anger appeared to cover the Master's face, but it was soon changed to a nice smile. 'Dear oh, dear, what a mess! And you two, are you fine, pupils caught up in a dimension crossover, what are we coming to?'

'Yes, yes, we're fine!' Harry impatiently informed the Master. He was hoping a little that the Master might award the two of them points for Loserium, the house didn't get that many, but such hopes where dashed when Sniverley walked around to them like an oversized shadow. 'Causing falling bricks, eh Potter and Rincewind, that's five points from Loserium, what an apt name!'

Sniverley gave them a look of hatred. Odd, thought Harry, how he just happened to be hanging around at that moment. Could Sniverley have set the creature onto them? The Master started, 'But they did survive an attack from a creature from the Dungeon Dimensions, are you been a little harsh?'

Sniverley snarled, 'I will decide how harsh I am been, Master, and I would thank you to think on your loyalties,'

'Of course, Sniverley, of course, no offence, I'll see you later,' the Master scampered off.

'Thanks very much, Master,' thought Harry sarcastically.

But he was to get more information later. He was summoned to a meeting of the Head, Ponder Stibbons, Sniverley, unfortunately, the Master and the head of his house, Margaret Robbins. Stibbons explained, 'This is the latest and most dangerous of a series of events. It would appear that we are under attack from creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions.'

'So, what's new, they're always trying to get through,' asked Mrs Robbins skeptically.

'But recently they seem to be succeeding. We do find things out about the Dungeon Dimensions, more than we ever have, but unfortunately it would appear that the creatures from their are also finding out more about us. It's almost as if someone, or some people are deliberately trying to attract them.'

Harry's eyes focused on Sniverley as Stibbons spoke. 'And if they do get through in large numbers, we on this disc are done for. We survive because of the difficulty in getting through the dimensions. Not many do so. But I'm sure we all appreciate what would happen in the case of a general dimension invasion.'

Everyone shuddered. The head stood up. 'Well, thank you for that Stibbons, well done Harry for helping to defeat the creature, six points for Loserium, I think. We obviously need to be prepared, but the children are probably safer hear in the walls of magical protection than anywhere else, tallyho!' with that the meeting was ended and everyone broke up and Harry walked down the stony, well lit and decorated castle corridors.

Over dinner and throughout that evening Harry heard worse news. He had decided to ask more about the Disc he had landed in and received more than he had bargained for. He was told this from Maggie, a girl the same age of Rincewind and from the same house and she seemed to know a lot in her brown-haired pigtails and neat girl's Warby's uniform.

'The Political situation here in the Disc is a little tense. Over on the counterweight conternant, some dark-side wizards are prominant. Plus there are the usual Wizard tensions. Recently magical advances have made it possible, if everyone was to use their wands in the same way against each other we could turn this whole known Disc into flames. Wizard wars can be very dangerous,'

'Has this happened before?'

'In the dim and distance past and in legend, yes, Harry. But in past decades there has been some effort to create peace in the Disc. Imperfect and fragile, but it has been kept. Unfortunately there is still tension and the capability to destroy the Western Disc has actually increased. Some say it wouldn't take much to create a holocaust, though it hasn't happened yet!'

Harry thought he understood. It was a little like the tension which sometimes existed between the Muggles in his own world or also in intra-wizardry countries. But now something else puzzled him. He asked the intelligent, young girl, 'But why do you tolerate dark-side wizards been in control? Surely we should fight them? Isn't that what our classes, "defence against the Dark side," is for?'

Margaret took a bite of her dinner before continuing. 'Actually, Harry, if you look at the class title it's called awareness of the Dark Side. The Dark arts are not all bad. In fact we do use a lot of them for our own spells. It is quite a complex philosophical discussion in fact. There are those that say that Wizardry is a choice between the Dark and Light side and that once you choose one that choice will stay with you for as long as you live. However, there are others that say the truth is more like a full rainbow and Dark and Light are far too simplistic notions. Well, I'm far too young to comment on some of that!'

Harry pondered thoughtfully as he finished his creamy, yellow pudding custard and watched his house ghost float by. That was certainly a different way of looking at things and something he needed thinking about. But not right now. Night was falling and with the rest of Loserium he made his way up the steep, windy staircases to their private, spell-protected common room and onto bed.

But that night, he couldn't sleep. It was a bit of a windy, rainy night and the rain splashed upon the windows. Harry tossed and turned, but finally could stand it no longer. He had the feeling something was calling him. The trees waved in the Forrest outside the grounds in motion. Harry climbed out of bed and made his way outside Loserium's chamber and outside the Castle, sneaking past the magic sentries guarding it.

Harry was breaking school rules considerably by doing this and all pupils had been constantly warned against going out even into the Castle at night, let alone outside. Harry soon understood why and regretted doing so. An unreasing feeling of fear hit him. Harry ducked under a little bush in the edge of the forest. Harry heared a grunting noise and thought he could see a dark, shadowy shape stooping. It looked up. Harry felt that somehow he could be sensed.

Harry crouched, wondering what to do. The dark shape then became distracted and moved away. But this was of little comfort as Harry was sure he then heard a quiet, but terrifying muffled scream. Then another noise. A sound of trumpeting elephants. A blue box emerged out of nowhere!

Harry stared in amazement! This was strange magic indeed! The door of the blue box opened and two people stepped out a dark-haired man in his thirties alongside a women in her early twenties. The man took off his classes and said, 'Well, the old girl is on the blink at times, but I really must look into it's sensors. According to this we are on a planet which is flat, mounted on four Elephants, which in turn is on a giant turtle swimming in Space.'

'How does the turtle breathe, what does it feed upon and how did it come into been?' asked the young woman.

'How should I know, I'm just stating the facts. But it looks familiar enough. I've never been on a flat world before!'

'Maybe we should just step back into the Tardis and quietly leave, Doctor, this isn't Earth after all.'

'Well, not so fast. Sensors did indicate a multi-dimensional warp. That could be dangerous. I think we should investigate for a while. But lets be a bit careful, Rose. It is dark, and that is a suspicious looking castle I see ahead of us. Hold on,'

The man called the Doctor, had closed the door of the Box and walked on. Unbeknown to him there was a shuffling nearby in the woods, and fortunately the two walked on quickly otherwise they could have been in trouble. 'Well, we could ask at this Castle. The Sonic Screwdriver does show activity that could cause a multi-dimensional wrap. We'd better check.'

'Are you sure it's safe?' asked the girl.

'Safe, safe of course it's safe have I ever been known to take you anywhere that's not safe, Rose?'

Hmmmm, take away the not and I might say, no, never at all!'

The Doctor and Rose walked up to the gloomy looking in the night air school. Rose looked up at it's enormous door with it's towers, windows and a few bats circling. Rose was thinking that the building looked a bit creepy. Although she thought she could see some signs of life inside. Though, knowing journeys with the Doctor, the question was, 'What type of life?'

'It looks a bit of a scary place. Doctor, I think I saw some sort of Ghost!'

'Oh, don't be silly Rose. There's no such thing as Ghosts. No, very unscientific of you, I have to say. Nor magic or fairies or Goblins. Trolls on the other hand........' concluded the Doctor as he knocked on the door and it was replied by a creature over 8ft tall, made out of stone, green with knuckles dragging across the ground. It looked at the Doctor and glared.

'Ah, a Troll. Now, the thing to do with trolls is just to ignore it.' Said Rose looking away from the creature.

'Rose, what do you think this is the 21st century Internet?


	3. Chapter 3

No, we'll just ask politely and hopefully.............'

Well, such a tactic did get the Doctor so far. As far as the interview room in Warby as it happened. With a Troll on guard, and been interviewed by Stibbons and the Head. 'Well, there you are, head, it looks like another example of trans-dimensional travel. I wonder if these people have any information for us on recent events. Could be useful.' The Doctor sighed as he was sitting on a bare chair with a wooden table in front of him. He did wonder why sometimes that when he arrived anywhere this was often how he was treated.

'Look as it happens I'm not from another dimension. I'm from another planet as it happens!'

'Oh, yes, that makes perfect sense!' said even the scientific Stibbons with some sniggering.

'But I can help you. I have some experience in these things. You could be in trouble and I at least need to investigate.' argued the Doctor.

The Head gave a broad smile and instantly trusted the Doctor. Well, he was a very trusting person. 'Well, that's everything sorted out, then. Nice to have you on board, er, Doctor.' when the door opened and Sniverley suspiciously walked in wearing a cloak like an overgrown bat.

'What's going on here?' asked he. Sniverley was less than satisfied with the explanation which he was given. 'Oh, right so we're just going to trust him are we? I think not. Stibbons and the head may be manipulable at times but oh no not me. You don't pull the wool over my eyes that easily. I intend to ask you some very searching questions. Sit down. And you can keep quiet for a start, young lady, don't think you can get around me with your pretty smile!' As the Doctor sighed Sniverley sat down beside him and insisted on a full account from the TimeLord. After much probing, Sniverley was finally satisfied. At least for now.

'Well, fine, some might think you are suited to the nearest lunatic asylum. But I think you will be fine with young Stibbons here. With his experiments, there's little difference sometimes!' He looked at Rose, 'Will you be helping the Doctor, here?'

'I think he'll be needing me,' replied Rose.

'Can you wash up,'

Rose sighed, 'Yes and I can do menial kitchen chores.'

'Excellent, we have just the job for you, then!' Sniverley didn't actually mean to be sexist. But he could be patronizing and stereotypical at times. The Doctor grinned and laughed causing Sniverley to turn around and wonder if he was right the first time, Rose groaned and the situation was accepted for the moment.

The next day was a Saturday and no lessons took place. But on this occasion, there was Squiffy practice. Squiffy! The game played by Wizards on the Disc. Which for some reasons was omitted by certain other authors. But even at the UU there was teams of this game. Harry was a bit excited by this as he had been good at Quidditch the Wizards game on his world. Nice to assert himself while he was here, thought he. Although he was warned by Tim, Rincewind's best mate, nice lad but a bit straightforward that Squiffy was an unusually complex game.

As Harry found out on a cold, wintry-feeling afternoon. Some of the game he did recognize. It did involve playing on a Broomstick and it did involve hitting a ball around. But that was basically where the silmarlarty ended. There was only one ball for a start, only one goal to hit it at. Which meant that it was rare for more than say, 4 goals to be scored in one game. Which only scored one point or goal. 'That's never going to create interest,' Harry had muttered to Rincewind, in vain as Rincewind like everyone else seemed fascinated by this game.

Also, it involved 11 players who could all pass the ball to each other other at any given time. But often they didn't for tactical reasons. Tactics and formation. Well, best not to mention those. Harry didn't understand any of it for a start! Also the grip on the wand was totally different than Harry was used to. It was pretty simple in theory, but different and Harry just couldn't get used to it. In training he kept on reversing to his usual grip with disastrous effect.

Then there where two more odd things. Firstly the offside rule. This threw Harry totally. He'd never heard of anything like this at all. It meant basically that there was some areas when one cannot play the ball. It was actually quite a good rule as it provided structure to the game but Harry couldn't get his head around it at all. He thought he'd played quite a decent maneuver for once then everyone shouted at him, 'You're offside you fool that's given away a free hit!' to him. Then there was one player that seemed to be in the weakest position. He couldn't used a wand and had to catch the ball. This made him obviously weaker. Yet to the subtle this was in fact the most important position.

However, as Harry whacked himself into Fred, a player also training, he felt he had enough. As was the Loserium coach that spoke to him. 'Harry, I can see that you have some natural talent, but you really do have to learn the basics. It'll take you about a year!' With that, Harry despondently sloped off, thinking,

'Bloody stupid game!' What was making matters worse was that there was someone very good at the game, very dashing with long, blond hair making kisses at any spectators and generally posing to them at the same time. Harry could see that Debs was much taking by him. But it was obvious that practice was over as the participants, all muddy, cold and tired started making their dabbling way back to the showers. It was a pretty miserable and sobering afternoon for Harry. With a couple of good points for him. Firstly, he had noticed when he was flying a few beings in the dark and very dangerous forest next to the School. One of whom seemed to fire a weapon at him which only just missed so he was happy to be back on ground level.

The other things was that Rincewind seemed to be equally miserable. 'That Wood guy is in my best postition,' grumbled he to Harry. 'As long as he is in there and playing so well, I don't stand a chance of getting into the team. Somewhat of a creative midfielder, I claim to be!'

'One wonders why you want to play the game,' was Harry's only grumpy response.

'Ha, so you had a hard time in training. Easy rules, hard to play this one. Anyway, you've met my friend, Drixlla? No, you gotto met him, hes a laugh. Tell you what, to cheer you up, how about a little trip to his hut for a nice cup of tea. All right, I'll be honest a cup of tea. But he's a laugh and a all round good egg and I think you could do with a bit of cheering up!' Harry agreed as he entered the changing rooms.

Therefore later that evening as darkness began, Harry along with Rincewind, Debs, and Rincewind's mate, Trev, all made the short journey to a little hut in the grounds outside Warby. It was definitely a small hut, not much bigger than a couple of rooms, but it was comfortable. Once one avoided all the various gardening implements falling out of a store-room that was kept nearby. A gruff voice in what some might say was a Scottish accent, said, 'Oh, aiy, sorry about that just been doing a bit of clearing. Boring and laborious but necessary,' and a large, well built but athletically so, seeming to Harry, rather than just fat as one or two of the teacher wizards he had seen appeared in the doorway.

'Come, in, come in, Rincewind, Debbie, Trev, ah, young Harry, pleased to meet yer, Rincewind here has been telling me all about yer!' Drixlla shook Harry hand with a powerful grip. Harry removed his hand as gingerly as he dared, hoping that none of his bones had been broken, Drixlla didn't seem to know his own strength. The hut itself was comfortable if it was small. A cheery fire was in one of the walls with smoke going up to the chimney. Harry saw another occupant in the hut and greeted Rose.

'What are you doing here?' asked he.

'Well, the Doctor told me to ask some inquisitive questions, and Drixlla here seems to have some answers,'

'Yes, she certainly does have an investigative mind, this young lady. Though if yer asks me This Doctor fellow seems to be having trouble adjusting for some reason. He seems to think that the idea of a disc been supported by four elephants is somehow a bit strange. Can't see that myself.' As Harry sat he noticed a rather pungent smell covering the hut.

'Is that the smell of the country air, or some rather strong Tea I can smell,' Harry muttered to Trevor.

'Er, no, that was me. A little bit of a blower eh! Sorry about that. Makes a man of yer!' explained Drixlla.

'If that makes a man of yer, think I'd rather stay a boy!' coughed Trevor holding his nose against the smell, which seemed a bit nasty. So all of them buched up upon a sofa and a chair for Drixlla. The night was falling fast with a thin cloud cover covering the air. Harry thought the forest outside looked strange and eerie. He looked at Rincewind who seemed to be quivering in fear as well. But that often happened and was only natural.

'I hears your parents died Harry, and your not happy with your guardians. That's a shame, children need a comfortable family home,' commented Drixlla.

Harry could only concur, 'I never knew them,' he said. He turned around and saw Rincewind. 'You seem to have a rather notorious father. You ever had a hard time, people seem to not have much good to say about him,'

'A, leave him alone!' replied Rincewind with a scowl. 'Yes, it might be argued that my father is a wanted man on half the worlds in the Disc, has bought cowardice to a fine art, and is possibly the worst wizard of all time. So much so that he even had me. Wizards aren't supposed to have children. He only got away with it because he was so bad. He has the same name as me in fact.

'But in his defence. Dad has saved the Disc on more than one occasion. How many can claim that? He always treated me well. I have had quite a comfortable, if not always rich, homelife, thank you.' Rincewind, the son of Rincewind the Wizard that couldn't even spell Wizzard, was right about this, he had had a reasonable upbringing. Despite the fact that his father was wanted for cowardice in his home country, which made meetings recently a bit problamatic. But he managed it.

As Rincewind was speaking, Harry attention was diverted he thought he saw movement outside. A pale, thin figure walking slowly. It looked dangerous, 'What's that?' called he.

'Oh, don't worry about it. There's not much in the forest which can harm yer.'

'Is that true?'

'Welll, apart from the unicorns, the Spiders, the dark elves, the werewolves oh and the Vampires of course. There is a reason why it's out of bounds after all. But they don't come in here. They know what they're going to get!' Drixlla growled and clenched his fist. 'Supernatural creatures are very nice but you have to treat them firmly. Show'em whos boss!'

Trevor muttered to Harry, 'This is the person that thinks it's cute to cuddle baby dragons!'

At that moment there was a crash at one of the windows. A creature had smashed it and was trying to get into the Hut. A rather pale, thin creature with distinguishing features been a pair of long canine's. 'That's a Vampire!' screamed Debbie.

'So it is. Dunno what's its doing in here, they haven't troubles me for years,' said Drixlla in a bit of puzzlement. The Vampire was trying to get in and snarled and stared his red eyes out quite alarmingly. Drixlla gave it a bit of a shove. This seemed to work for this one, but then there was a knock and a shove on the door. Looking outside, Harry could see a whole army of the creatures. 'Something seems to have upset them,' muttered Drixlla.

The Vampire forced open the door and stood in the hut. 'Ar, a Vampire, shouldn't one use crucifixes, running water, Garlic, or, if one is desperate, pure daylight?' suggested Harry.

'Ain't got a clue about that, but this often works, take that you ugly creature!'

'Oh, very Peter Cushing,' thought Harry for some reason as Drixlla knocked the Vampire out with a punch. But with growls and snarls, more appeared. Drixlla was struggling with a few and was helped by Rose. Harry was pointing his wand wondering what type of spells worked on the undead. Rincewind heroically hid under the sofa. Not much of a plan, but the only one he had at the moment.

'Run for it, kids, I'll hold these off!' shouted Drixlla bravely.

One vampire grabbed Rose and Rose was convinced it was trying to bite her neck. 'Push off you,' she commented and kicked it's head with a bit of kick-boxing. 'Eat your heart out, Buffy,' said she. At that point, Rincewind went for a quick getaway and with remarkable speed dashed out of the hut, his pure speed dodging the Vampires in the dark outside.

'Come on, we'd better take Drixlla's advice!' screamed Debs.

'What about him?'

'He can probably take care of himself. But we can at least cause a diversion for a few. Come on, now while we can!' The four children ran for the castle of Warby. Followed by many Vampires. Just as the castle loomed into view, the Vampires attacked. Rose and Debs where cut of from the two boys that where taking on around 20 of the creatures. But Rose was surrounded and had her back to the wall with Debs. 'Trapped now!' muttered Debs and four Vampires slowly approached Rose in the dark, barring their sharp teeth.....................


	4. Chapter 4

'Or alternatively, we could try a transporting spell!' declared Debbie, squeezing Rose's hand in hers, waving her wand and crying, 'Movemmulus!' and the two girls disappeared and where transported away. But not far. The next moment, Rose saw the gates of the entrance of Warby and it's big metal bars. 'Oh, yes, one cannot use magic inside Warby itself. Hmmm, I should know that, I've told that to enough people!' Debbie smiled to Rose. But she was able to call out to the guards and the two walked through. To be encountered by Mrs Margaret Roberts their house mistress.

Debbie wisely told Mrs Roberts their close encounter with the Vampires. 'Aggressive Vampires, eh? I think we might just have to increase the size of the out of bounds area of the enchanted Forest. But still, good effort that. Using a Transporting spell at your age when you've only just been introduced to it. Good magic, many couldn't do that!' This was certainly true. While the ploy worked, without concentration and skill, Debbie might have ended up anywhere. 'I think, five points for Loserium!' said Mrs Roberts.

'One moment!' said an acid voice.

'Oh, hi,' said Rose as Snively came into view, but Debbie's heart sank. Had she broken some kind of rule?

Of course she had! Malloy said to his head, Sniverly, 'Told you, sir! Entering via the front gate. That's surely against school rules. I thought we had side entrances for us mere pupils. But possibly those of Harry's friends think themselves above us!'

'Quite right, thank you Malloy! And don't be so familiar, you! As far as I am concerned you're just a kitchen helphand! Unauthorized entrance, eh, plus an attempt to use any kind of magic inside Warby. Against regulation!' Sniverly's face turned into a savage smile. 'Ten points from Loserium, I think. And just be grateful I don't put you on report. ' Snarled he. Debbie sighed and looked like she was about to cry. Some might think that deliberately intervening in a shool house competition to affect the results for the house ones likes was a pretty pathetic hobby for a grown man to have, but Sniverly seemed to like doing this.

But Debbie was pleased by the reception she got back in the Loserium night quarters. Harry and Rincewind both thought she had performed a quite credible spell in difficult circumstances and congratulated her accordingly. 'Thought you where quick on your feet, couldn't run away fast enough, could you, and why couldn't you perform such a spell,' Debbie said a little acidly to Rincewind although she did know him fairly well by now.

'Oh, be fair, he did act as a diversion for several Vampires,' declared Harry loyally.

'Yes, I know I did. I was a bit slow, actually, I think I need to build my speed. One of them bit me in fact, right on the shoulder. Stings a little. Oh, and in answer to your question, Debs, I'm just used to running away. I prefer that to all this transporting spell mucking about.' Rincewind winced painfully as he dubbed the blood on his wound with a handkerchief. Fortunately for Rincewind, Vampire bites in this case did not turn one into a Vampire and after a day or two of pain, he would be fine.

Rincewind looked and noticed that someone else in Loserium was having pain as well. It was the young man in the place he wanted to be in the Squiffy team. George. Looked a bad one. 'What's up with you, can't they sort your problem out in the School hospital?' Rincewind asked him as the Nurse's spell could cure almost anything.

'Not in this case.'

Rincewind's face lit up in joy, 'Oh, great!'

'What's great about it, the poor boy's got glantulus fever?'

'Well, yes, bad news for him, but he's in the place I'm challenging for in the Loserium Squiffy team. If he's out, sorry mate, but I could be in!'

It was unusual for George to give a look of genuine terror, but he did in this case. He looked at Rincewind, took a swig from his medicine coughed and said to him, 'I think you could be right. We could be in trouble in that case. We're playing Snakey. Still that doesn't seem to bother you, oh dear me!' George collapsed onto his bed in a heap of coughing. It wasn't fatal glantulus fever, but when it got someone, usually young, they could be seriously out of action for many days. As it happens Snakey had won every match against Loserium for the last 15 years consecutively but in the excitement at the prospect of been picked, Rincewind wasn't that much of a statiscian.

Next morning, Harry said 'Hello,' to Rose as she was serving breakfast. Rose didn't look that happy.

'I wouldn't mind, but why is it that every time the Doctor needs assistance in an educational establishment, I'm always typcast as a serving maid? Good morning! Near thing yesterday wasn't it!' added Rose as she served up some bacon and used a magic plate to whisk it away to where it was needed and then she winced as one of the school's ghosts turned and winked at her. Now since she travelled with the Doctor, Rose had seen plenty of unusual creatures, but the many ghosts that wondered in the air in the castle with their clear, transparent figures unnerved her a little.

Before the start of Breakfast, the Head appeared in his normal wizardry robes. 'Just time for a few of our weekly words,' said he, 'Good morning everyone!' and that was it! The Head was fond of little quirky jokes like that one.

Although this was lost a little on Trevor. 'They say the man's a genius, but he's also a bit of a bicycle!' said he making a gesture around his head as he dived into his eggs. The Head's little quips where sometimes lost on the pupils. Trevor then shivered as the host ghost patted his shoulder, putting his hand straight through Trevor's shoulder.

Not everyone quite shared Trevor's point of view, however, Harry was interested in Debbie's argument. 'He's a tad eccentric, but don't underestimate him. The Head is a powerful wizard. Do you know, he was once the Dean of the Unseen University, the UU. Well, he still is in fact. For years he just sat on his table, eating doing nothing in charge of his department like most of the wizards their. Then something changed in him. For some reason he wanted to get his hands dirty and take on a more active role. So he came here to be the head! He claims to have found himself at the age of 70!'

The pupils on Loserium's table looked at the Head. He was quite an enormous figure, somewhat resembling a duck. Harry heard Trevor mutter, 'Couldn't have been that hard, really!' to much laughter. The Head seemed to realize that he was causing the table some merriment turned and winked at them and drowned the coffee and talked to a very nervous looking Master.

'The Master seems to be suffering as well, poor chap!'

'Possibly the prospect of trying to keep his lessons together, Rincewind. Hes do tend to get a bit chaotic and suffers from a certain lack of discipline. I've heard of your Liberal teachers, but this one takes that philosophy to the extreme, Debbie' sighed Harry.

'He just seems to lack a bit of backbone, I'm afraid!' Debbie concluded.

But some of the rest of the table was taking up with Wood's conversations. For a change he wasn't talking about Squiffy. But namely the tension that was taking place in the Disc's international affairs. 'We've gotta watch those devils on the Dark side. We've tolerated them for a while now, but what I hear is taking the biscuit. Taking over our Wizards with the Imperius Curse. Controlling them. Causing friction amongst some of the other magical creatures. People have died, haven't you heard? What's our Duke doing I'd like to know. What are the other powers of the West, Quirm, Ankh-Morpork doing? It's now time for us to strike!'

Some gave him a loud applause, but not everyone agreed. Rincewind looked over to Wood, 'What do you think the Eastern countries will do if you do that!' as it was clear that Wood was talking about a strike on some of the nations of the East with which always a certain amount of tension had existed between them and that of the Western ones. 'What you're saying could lead to a thermal-magical war. What with modern weapons, after one of those, we'll be lucky if there is even dust left from this part of the Disc! We don't know for sure if it's even a Disc country that is doing this. The Doctor thinks it's more likely to be creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions trying to break through!'

But there was some laughter in response to this. In fact opinion seemed to be evenly divided. 'Wouldn't take much for the pro-war side to have more influence,' thought Rincewind gloomily. He wasn't much encouraged by the effect that some of the Snakey's seemed to be agreeing with Wood for once. Malloy commented,

'Well, I would expect some disagreements from the cowards of Rincewind's party. Tell me again, you probably know those nations so well because your father ran away from the armies of them all. But I agree with Wood. Time for a strike. They'll back down soon enough. For another reason why do you think they seem to be mobilizing and sending most of their agents up to the East coast of the Inland sea?'

Debbie sighed, hating Malloy and his Snakey's more than usual. 'Maybe it's because Western nations are doing the same thing? You say Ankh-Morpork is doing nothing, but I've heard that Vetinari had sent an army to the west coast. All right, so this is Ankh-Morpork so what type of an army is always questionable but I would suspect it is quite effective. Not surprised if the East makes some kind of response. And some might argue that they have a right to deply their forces in whatever way they seem fit. And besides. Are you so sure that the East will back down with a strike? Some of those that have recently up-graded their magical capabilities to devastating effect so I hear.

'The Arabian empire, Persia, Cairo? Their rulers don't look to me at least like those that will automatically back down to some bit of bluffing. In fact they look like those that will strike back as hard as they can. Now, I know we can handle one of those by themselves, but all together? I have my doubts. This could lead to war. You volunteering for the front-line, Malloy?' Harry nodded his head vigorously. He was agreeing with just about every wise word Debbie had argued. But while the main arguers had backed down, he couldn't help but think they would be back.

Malloy had muttered rather embarrassingly to Debbie, 'Well, of course not, I'm too young, they don't recruit children to these wars!'

'Rather convenient for you!' thought Harry. But breakfast was over and Harry soon had other things to think about. Firstly there was a lesson on the Dark side by the Master. Well typically with the Master it was a bit chaotic. The Master did manage to get his basic points across, but it was hard to concentrate with all of the chattering, the joking and frankly the disinterest which most of the class had with his lessons. Sometimes the Master was blatantly interrupted but all he could reply was with something like a 'Please,' and a panicky look.

Harry sighed. Now it has to be admitted that he did follow the lead and chatted a bit during the lesson. But then so was everyone else and Harry didn't like to go against the general feeling of the class. It was only a sharp dig in the ribs and a glare from Debbie that made him feel a bit guilty and sorry for the teacher clearly out of his depth. He actually listened to the Master for a change. The Master in the class, discussions of the dark side, was talking about curses. Some of the major curses and he mentioned the Imperius curse.

'Now the Imperius curse is all about one thing control. The curse that enables the curser to control the victim's mind and give him or her total power over him. It is however tricky to use and involves the use of a keyword and one has to be a very skilled magic user to perform it properly. For example,' for a moment the Master's expression changed totally and for a moment, unusually the entire class was fixited on what he was saying. Then he smiled and it was back to normal. 'As you see, not everyone has it. Now, for an example......' and the class descended back into it's normal chaos.

But something interesting happened around lunchtime. Harry was passing a study room where Stibbons and the Doctor where engaging in investigations into the recent cross dimensional events. Harry paused and could not help but hear the Doctor shouting, 'Logic you say! How can anything be logical in a world where there are over 15 unknown elements. Just about anything could be happening. I've never seen anything like this before!'

Ignoring a notice which said, 'Pupils not allowed,' Harry swung the door open and entered the room. In it he saw Stibbons, the Doctor and a little dent in the wall opposite which had something glowing, almost like a ghost. A large variety of chemical potions where brewing. Stibbons looked up as Harry entered. 'Ah, Potter, good day! Um, there is, as I am sure you are aware a notice which clearly says "pupils not allowed!" sometimes I agree with Sniveley about you, you don't take much care of school rules, do you? Should really take five points from Loserium, but then I don't think Loserium has five points and I don't like the idea of negative points.'

Harry coughed rather embarrasingly and tried to explain, 'Well you look like your engaging in cross-dimensional experimentants. I thought I was supposed to be assisting in that!'

'Correct, Harry! And tricky stuff it is too. A bit dangerous as well. We don't really know what's out there in the other dimesnions. But to sum up. Despite some people's skepticism's we do think that some things are breaking through the dungeon dimensions. Why is not quite sure, but they certainly do seem to be trying to stir things up, creating more tension.'

'Thank you, Doctor, one theory which I have at least is that they hope that we on the Disc will fight ourselves to oblivion. That will make it easier for them to invade, if that is the plan. We hope to try to make that as tricky for them as possible. However...' Stibbons words where interrupted by a noise from the dent. 3 squiggly, wriggling spider type creatures with long legs appeared.

'Get down!' cried the Doctor as one displayed an ability to jump and one threw itself straight at Harry who only avoided it by a swift duck and the creature just missed his hair.

'Flllooittppys!' called Stibbons with accuracy but tricky spelling. 'From the Dungeon dimensions. Deadly poisonous. Why it's not a good idea for pupils to be hear, Harry!' But with Stibbons and Harry using their wands and The Doctor using his Sonic Screwdriver the three dangerous creatures where ushered back to the portal. But not before one managed another leap, this time at the Doctor and bit him on the neck causing the Doctor to cry and faint as Stibbons maneuvered it to the portal then switched it of after the creatures where repelled back to their domain. But with a glance, Harry saw that the Doctor was out cold on the floor with a bit of fatal poison in his neck.


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor got up, feeling very sick. The world seemed foggy and a figure came up to him. A skeleton with a scythe and blue eyes.

'DOCTOR!'

'Yes?'

'COME WITH ME TO YOUR SOUL'S REST!'

'You're Death?' asked the Doctor pretty much stating the obvious.

'CORRECT AND I COME FOR EVERYONE!' declared Death.

'Well, I'm not sure why you're coming for me now!' asked the Doctor.

'BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN BITTEN IN THE NECK BY SOMETHING DEADLY POISONOUS FROM THE DUNGEON DIMENSIONS. NO HUMAN COULD SURVIVE THAT.'

Many would be scared by this announcement and meekly await their fate, whatever it may be. But The Doctor had spotted the obvious flaw in Death's argument. He sighed, 'Well, that's where you're wrong. I'm not human. I'm a Time lord. From the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of kontabus. Now we might not be invincible but we can survive a bite from one of those things far better than a human. And I know I'm not dead. So, if you could stop mucking about, I have lots to do and I'm sure you're a busy man, er, skeleton,' said the Doctor patting Death's arm.

'OH,' said Death in puzzlement. A black raven fluttered down onto Death's head. 'WELL, I MUST SAY THIS IS MOST IRREGULAR.' He shook a time glass he had in his position and sighed, 'HAVE TO HAVE A WORD WITH SOMEONE ONE OF THESE DAYS. OH, WELL, ON YOUR WAY THEN!' The Doctor stood up and returned to consciousness. Then he suddenly felt Death by his ear. 'SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED.' Death was about to vanish again, but at the last minute he turned and asked, a little puzzled. 'BY THE WAY. DOCTOR WHO?'

The Doctor smiled as Stibbons and Harry picked him up. 'That could have been nasty. Mind, it does confirm to me that someone is helping these creatures dimension jump. I'm not sure why.'

'I think I have my suspicions of who, though,' said Harry thinking of Sniverley.

'Now, now, just because you don't like someone, I'd remind you that he is a Teacher and you should treat him with some respect!' answered Stibbons disapprovingly at Harry's suggestion. In his glasses of his own, Ponder Stibbons did look a little like an older Harry in a way. He and the Doctor began to shut down the experiment twisting little nobs and switches. 'Oh, Doctor, don't just switch the conductor of like that, you'll burn out the copper, you're supposed to let it run down you know, that costs money!'

'Ponder, my dear fellow, you have the mind of an accountant!' muttered the Doctor.

Well, never mind creatures trying to break through from the Dungeon Dimensions or impending magical conflict. Time for more important matters. Squiffy! of course. Well, that was what many of the boys at the school thought. Or the next match of Warby's Squiffy Championship. Between the current holders, Snakey and Loserium who last one the Championship some time in the previous century. And it was Rincewind's debut! Yes, gorgeous George still had glangulus fever so had to pull out. George been Loserium's just about only decent player. So it was Rincewind's job to be the creative midfielder role. Or as about as creative as anything Loserium had.

Been a boy and with an interest in sport, in particular the School Squiffy Championship, Rincewind was excited at the prospect of been in the team! He didn't sleep much in the night before the match, dreaming of creating the winning goal, scoring a hat-trick perhaps in a thriller been the hero of the first team from Loserium to beat Snakey for years.

Of course the fact that Snakey where red hot favourites, the fact that they hadn't lost this season while Loserium had lost all of their matches, the fact that he was a debutant, the fact that Squiffy was, actually, quite a hard game to play, didn't seem to cross Rincewind's mind. Neither did all the comments that passed him that morning. The voices from his opponents where more of humour than threat.

'Oh, dear, here's Loseriums' new champion player!

'Oh, there goes our title chances!'

'Tell you what, perhaps we can sign him next season!'

Where all typical examples of the hilarious barracking he had to cope with. The comments from his own side where hardly encouraging either. Debbie, who's interest in the game was limited sighed, 'Hope you don't get too badly hurt!'

Even his best mate, Trevor told him, 'Oh, please, Rincewind just be careful. Don't do anything rash. It is your first game.' But such pitying looks didn't discourage Rincewind even in the slightest. After all, no-one expected Boilers to beat the might of Quirm in '58 but they had done it, the greatest Squiffy cup upset in history. Rincewind intended to repeat such deeds this day. So it was with some, possibly misplaced confidence he took up his broomstick, donned his Loserium blue and white strips and went to the game.

It's worth pointing out here that the Squiffy Championship was basically fixed. Officially or unofficially. But it was fixed very definitely in favour of two of its teams, Snakey who had won the title eight times out of the last ten years and occasionly the courageous who had won it in the other two. The other teams, Loserium and Branbox never stood a chance. Because the referees who, supposedly where neutral, strangly enough seemed to award the vast majority of the debatable decisions to Snakey. Or if they didn't their Captain, one Ally Ferguson would complain like stink so they did the next time. Also, in sorting the sorting hat, it said, could tell in some measure, Squiffy skill and tended to put those that had it into Snakey. Plus Snakey tended to get the best Coaching, the facilities, even the better broomsticks etc. Now, all right, there where those from Snakey which said 'Well, this is really because we are blooming brilliant,' but no-one could see that this meant for a rather dull competition. Well, it was about as exciting as the English Premier League really!

So, it was three o'clock in the afternoon and time for kick-off. Rincewind lined up in his midfield position giving the crowd a bit of a wave. It was a clear but cold day, 'Perfect for Squiffy,' Wood had loudly said. Rincewind was given a nice cheer by the crowd as the debutant's name was read by the pitch commentator, a pupil called John Motson, also known as Motty from the Courageous who had no love for Snakey but then little respect for Loserium.

But that was as good as his day got. It was The Master reffing of all people so anyone despaired of him making any strong decisions or standing up to Ferguson. Snakey in their Red shirts and white shorts looked suddenly much more fearsome now that he was up in the air with them. Plus, to make him more nervous, before kick-of, Sniverley had sat down on the Snakey's bench and seemed to be looking at him with a malevolent air. Rincewind knew that Sniverley hated him and Rincewind was suspicious of some of the Teacher's activities. Was Sniverley about to do some nasty magic to Rincewind while he was in the air?

After a few minutes, the ball came to Rincewind. He grabbed it in his excitement and moved of on his broomstick to the Snakey goal. Now the rules of Squiffy where that one could either kick or carry the ball, but if one carried it the opposition was allowed to tackle your body. As Rincewind picked it up, one of the larger players of Snakey tackled him bodly and gave him a little knee where it hurts as he was tackled. 'Welcome to Squiffy!' smiled he and soared away.

Rincewind gasped and hovered in the air for a few seconds. 'Well, Rincewind seems to be out of action there after that tackle. Come on, feller, get back in position! Speaking of positions, it would appear that Snakey are playing a classical 4-4-2. Loserium? Well, lets be charitable and say that they are playing a w formation. Although quite what their wingbacks are doing, I'm not totally sure, come on Wood get some shape into your team. Though to be fair, they must be missing George!'

'Get on with it, Rincewind!' his captain yelled at him. Wood was a player in attack with minimum of natural ability but did sometimes make up for that with energy and enthusiasm. 'And get that ball!' but Rincewind merely ducked in fright as the ball in high speed nearly took his head off. With a cry from the crowd, one of Snakey's midfielders, Ronoldo booted the ball with some skill and clipped Loseriums crossbar.

'An early let-of for Loserium!' declared Motty. The match went on. Rincewind suffered another nasty blow and was beginning to loose his earlier excitment of the game. He caught the ball but then suffered a thud from a Snakey player who ripped the ball from his hand. A questionable maneuver in fact from Snakey, but the Ref saw nothing wrong with it. But Rincewind cried out and waved his hand. 'Well it would appear that Rincewind is in trouble. A bit unfortunate this for the debutant. No, it appears to be just a broken finger. The trainer will fix that with one squirt from the magic sponge.'

'Broken finger, no problem!' declared the magic sponge as it wiped Rincewind's finger. Remember this is the Discworld! But it still hurt Rincewind and he had to shake his hand in the next few minutes of the game.

Then something dramatic and extraodinary happened. 'An attack from Loserium, over to Wood, oh, he's in the clear a chance and it's there! Would you believe a goal from Loserium! Against all the odds and under all that pressure it's now 1-0 to Loserium! Get in there!' The crowd went wild. Apart possibly from Debbie who has little interest in what was happening.

'Oh, did someone score?' said she to Harry who was there to see what the game was all about. He was still having difficulty following it, to tell the truth. Rincewind was soon having other problems. He was elated at having played a part in the goal, but this seemed to single him out for special treatment from Snakey. He got the ball again, but lost it with a smack on the back of his neck giving him a cut and a bruise for his troubles. Then he got possession but a kick in the kneecaps and next a punch in the face.

But again the Referee saw nothing wrong with it. Despite the fact that he was out cold and needed another treatment from the magic sponge. 'Might be time to take me off?' said he hopefully to Wood as the drama of the game was now beginning to be too much for him.

'No way, it's only a lost tooth a bit of healing magic will stick it back on!' boomed Wood.

Then Ronoldo, one of the Snakey players said to Ferguson, 'It's near half-time, time for me to use my skills to get the equalizer!' Ferguson gave him a bit of a knowing look as though he knew what type of skill Ronoldo was about to use. There was a cross near to the Loserium goal. But no real danger. Ronoldo and one of the Loserium defenders both went for the ball in the same way. They did have the faintest of touches, but it wasn't clear really who touched each other first.

But Ronoldo suddenly dropped his broomstick and dived like he had been shot. Suddenly all the Snakey players screamed at the Referee, 'Penalty, penalty Ref, it has to be!' Rincewind had had a good look at this and could see no illegal contact at all.

But the Ref disagreed and with a dramatic flourish with his arms signalled a penalty. Technically speaking, the Snakey players weren't allowed to speak to the Referee only the Captains could, if Rincewind or any of the Loserium players even spoke gently out of turn, they would be disciplined the way one of the Brainbox players where against Snakey itself in the previous game, but different rules seemed to apply to Manchester United, oops, Snakey of course.

Anyway, naturally, the Referee gave a penalty. Ronoldo scored it. So at half-time it was 1-1. Wood gave a rather stirring half-time speech, but Rincewind only paid it scant attention. Been knocked about for 40 minutes had made him a bit woozy. After the start of the second half, in a fairly fair challenge, the Referee gave another free-kick to Snakey. In frustration, Rincewind asked politely, 'Why was that, Sir?' to the Referee who promptly waved him away with a lecturer and a touch on his broomstick,

'Only Captains can speak to the Referee, back ten yards and be grateful I'm not booking you as it is your first match!' snapped the Master at him.

'Stupid rule didn't apply to Snakey at their penalty, did it?' muttered Rincewind to himself as he moved backwards. The arbitrary nature of Squiffy Referring was beginning to annoy him. But he was soon having his own problems. He took a glance at the crowd to see his friends, but he managed to have a look at Sniverley. The teacher was looking straight at him it appeared and Rincewind was sure he was chanting something. A spell?

Just then Rincewind's broomstick appeared to take on a life of it's own. It jumped and twisted. Rincewind fell of, only just holding onto it as it wriggled. In fact it turned around and whacked Rincewind on the nose, causing him to fall down again. Rincewind was now beginning to hope that he would be taken of, but the magic sponge declared, 'Broken nose, no problem we'll soon be having that fixed!'

'Rincewind appears to be having a rather eventful debut!' laughed Motty in the commentary. But now Rincewind had to cope with not been blown of his Broomstick onto the ground over a hundred feet below rather than worrying about the game. Though he did notice one thing. Wood had scored again. Or so everyone thought. Motty screamed and it looked like 2-1. Until Rincewind saw the Ref with his hand high, not awarding a goal.

'Offside!' declared the Master. It was nowhere near. Even Rincewind could see that Wood was clearly on. But with Ferguson looking at and nodding at the Referee, Rincewind was beginning to think that he was not going to get anything like fair play here. Rincewind received possession again, and aimed the ball up to Wood who seemed to be clear. But just as he released it, the Snakey cap moved in the way and just deflected the ball.

The Cap was an interesting position in Squiffy. He was the one player on the pitch that couldn't handle the ball. This, one would have thought was a serious handicap, but some made that position their own. There where those that said a good cap was often the difference between two evenly-matched teams. The Snakey cap, to be fair seemed a good one.

Then Snakey scored making it 2-1 to Snakey. The game moved onto the last ten minutes. Frankly, the Loserium players knew that their chance to win had gone, they had to move forward, thereby exposing their defence some more. The ball game to Rincewind again. He made an attempt to reach it, then one of the Snakey burly midfielders clattered into him. Rincewind passed out.

'Hello, me again!' said the magic sponge again. The sponge, rather to his relief now declared, 'That's it, broken arm. This poor lad going to have to go to hospital. I'm taking him off!' The magic sponge's word was always final on this. Rincewind didn't mind too much now, at least he would be safe from Sniverley on the ground, but this did mean that Loserium where down to 10 men, subs not been allowed.

So in the last ten minutes Snakey did quite a few party tricks with little opposition scoring twice more making the final score 4-1. 'Well, that's it a dramatic game, some thought that Snakey where in trouble there, but with their usual quile and some interesting decisions in their favour Snakey had pulled through. Plenty of talking points.......' though what Motty failed to say, perhaps in his enthusiasm was that the final result was pretty predictable. So much for School Squiffy.

Not that now Rincewind was bothered that much. He was more concerned with nursing his broken arm in hospital, not to mention the effects of all his other injuries. Sure, with magic they could be cured quickly, but he would sure hurt in the morning!


	6. Chapter 6

It certainly did! The next day Rincewind groaned, though in truth his wounds where getting better in remarkable speed, Witch Nursie could perform wonders with magical cures it had to be said! 'Now, now, broken arm, couple of days have that mended nothing to worry about, oops sorry about that was that your nose, nasty cut you've sustained there!' was typical of her talk.

Rincewind was slightly cheered up by a visit from his friends Debbie, Trevor and Harry. 'Now I did tell you to watch yourself, I think you got a bit excited there for a while!' laughed Trevor as the ginger-haired boy handed Rincewind a bag of grapes. 'Looks like Gorgeous George will be fit again for the next game, so I doubt you'll hang onto your place. Some terrible decisions made by the Ref there, one had thought he had only just heard of Squiffy!'

'He had!' confirmed Harry of the Master's position.

'What, did we lose?' asked Debbie whose grasp of the game was always a little shaky.

'Oh, lords, yes we did, didn't all that cheering by Snakey convince you of that?'

'Can't really say I noticed Trevor, we have hard navigation on Monday and I was just looking through some of my notes at the time, fascinating subject!' replied Debbie.

'Girls!' sighed Trevor with a roll of his eyes. 'Still, to listen to the Snakey's one would think that they had done something different or clever rather than just cheat their way through a school Squiffy competition. Malloy's been a right pest, still no change there one supposes. Anyway, you up for dinner this evening? Should be good, a Sunday roast, you should be up for that!' Trevor sat on Rincewind's bed looking up at the hospital's ceiling with it's design of White with blue dots.

Rincewind was only too happy to do this. In fact even by Dinnertime his arm felt a lot better and Nursie thought he would loose his sling by the next day. Wizard magic curing spells seemed quite effective. Though Rincewind did have to endure taunts from the opposition and sympathetic sighs from his fellows. So much for Squiffy. The Snakey's laughed at him. 'Well, that was an effective game!' chortled Malloy. 'Loserium, Loserium, Loserium, what an apt name for such an useless house. What are you lot good for, exactly?'

Even the Courageous normally sympathetic with Loserium joined in a little. 'One would have thought you would have put up a bit of a fight, actually!' smiled Motty.

This was just too much for Debbie. Just because those at Loserium weren't great at sport, one would think that they where good for nothing. She snapped at the taunters, 'Well, actually if you look at it, in terms of pure exam results we Loseriums are the best in the School at the moment. We are even ahead of Brainbox. The only reasons we are not doing that great in the House Cup is that we are as you say, not that great at Squiffy, a great use that will be for getting jobs in the future, plus if you look at it, we have had 100 points deducted from us this year so far from Sniverley and curiously no points added. From every other Teacher, including our own head of house we are roughly level. Now all right, Sniverley has taken 110 points from Courageous and 90 from Brainbox and oddly he has given 100 to his own house, Snakey. Well if anyone think that's fair, say so!' There was a bit of an embarrassed silence from the other houses after this justified rant!

But at the end of the meal there was a message for Rincewind. A bit of an unwelcome message as it happened. Or at least that was what Rincewind thought. It was from Stibbons. 'The Doctor wants to have a chat with you tomorrow if you're up to it. Something about these creatures that keep trying to break in from the Dungeon Dimensions. Apparently your father has met them before and he wonders if you can remember if he had ever mentioned it to you.'

Rincewind sighed. 'My father has encountered an awful lot of dangerous and tricksey creatures, many of them in fact human. What you think is so special about this one. Mind you, the Dungeon Dimensions is a bit different. I do believe Dad did once mention them to me and for some reason it stuck in my mind. What where they called and they do seem a bit similar to what you are encountering, the Necrtorungs. No, that's not it, the Nestenes, possibly? I'll have a think. But why don't you contact him yourself. You could use the clacks'. Suggested Rincewind.

Ponder's eyes widened. Rincewind's ramblings didn't exactly inspire confidence in him. He shook his head. 'I just hope the Doctor knows what he is doing! Anyway, you're wanted! Oh, and as far as your father is concerned, we seem to have difficulty in getting communication, something seems to be blocking us, the clacks haven't been too reliable lately!'

So, the next morning, which meant that Rincewind was spared hard navigation though he would have to catch up later, he held a meeting with the Doctor, Stibbons and the Head was there as well. The Doctor described the creatures that where trying to get through the dimensions. Rincewind nodded to them, 'Yes, I do believe they are Nestenes. We could be in serious trouble then. They are dangerous. They are capable of taking over life-form bodies and using them as facsimile's. Extremely hard to stop sometimes.'

The Head coughed, leaned back on his chair and said, 'We have found the bodies of a whole group of dead Vampires on the grounds last night. Their descriptions match those that attacked you the other day. But I haven't heard of Vampires trying anything like that before.'

'Yes, that sounds like it might be them. Those Vampires must have been maddened by the Nestenes. It can cause death in some cases.' Rincewind sighed. His father had encountered those creatures before as he had virtually every strange life-form from different dimensions. This was in one of those occasions when Dad-Rincewind happened to be in Klatch.

'Well, how did he defeat them last time?' asked the Head.

Rincewind nervously replied, 'I'm not sure we did. What their exact plans was we never found out, some Klatch Necromancer planned to used them somehow in the complex world of Klatchian politics. Well what happened next wasn't that clear. I think the Necromancer ended up dead with a poisonous Scorpion in his forehead. Well, my father somehow fell out with the current ruler and ended up having to run sharpish out of the country with it's army at his heels. What the Nestenes wanted we never found out. But if they have evil designs upon us we could be in serious trouble.'

'Hurrrumph, seems that your father has run away from just about every damn army in the disc in his time!' growled the Head. But on that cautionary note the meeting split up. Well, it was getting colder and nearer to Yule tide the mid-winter celebrations. Most of the pupils of Warby would be going back to their families but naturally Harry would be staying at Warby. So was Rincewind as travel between here and his father's city of Ankh-Morpork was difficult. Debbie had elected to stay this time as well.

'Interesting study I need to do in the library about neter-spells' declared she to the shaking head of Trevor! Unfortunately for them, Malloy was staying as well. In the meantime lessons had to be taken, homework to be completed before the end of term and all the time, the international situation seemed to be deteriorating. It wasn't so much that there was one nation threatening the Disc, but lots of small problems all seemed to be erupting at once. Persia was probably at the core of some of the problems but as a nation, by itself it probably could have been easily dealt it, had not half of the counter-weight continient might be allied to it if the West didn't tread carefully.

In the last week of term, there where various Yule-tide celebrations. A pantomime in which the Master dressed as an ugly sister caused much hilarity. Even Rose and The Doctor caused laughter with their rendition of 'a Mistress and her fool in the dark woods,' The Doctor doing a good imitation of a fool and Rose one of a too clever by half society girl. There was various magical creatures forming little shows, but one notorious one of a small group of Hobbits given a song.

'What in the Disc are Hobbits?' Harry had muttered to Trevor. Well, they where small creatures, half the size of Men, smaller than anyone but first-years in the School, slightly tubby, brightly dressed with very furry feet and no shoes. They weren't even magical creatures, particularly but they did appear to get on well with the Head. They gave a rendition of rather an old folk song, which admittedly, most hadn't heard before. This involved much dancing, getting words wrong, falling over and light-hearted pushing.

Oh, in the mountains of Kwickirl

There I met this hearty girl

'Twas the love of my life

the one that I took for wife.

Etc. There was some rather muted applause at the end which didn't stop the Hobbits thanking the crowd and tooting their horns enthusiastically. Well, Harry and Malloy didn't agree on much it has been noted. But both looked at each other and sighed at this performance. 'Think it must be one of the Head's little jokes. But, er, they don't come here often, do they?'

One of the Hobbits gave a wide brown smile and cried, 'Any more?' and one idiot, Harry was sure it was the Head, called out enthusiastically, 'Yes,' and another song was added.

Well, most of the School departed for Yuletide in the landing snow but with a few exceptions, Harry, Rincewind and Debbie been some of them. Malloy was staying as well with one or two other Snakeys, but the School was a bit empty at this time. Yuleday itself came with much singing of Offer songs, and a huge feast which Harry could enjoy all the more there been fewer people, the school also been covered with decorations and the Head leading a rendition of 'Three wise wizards,' and the sight of him hugging an embarrassed Sniverley crying, 'Come on man, lighten up, it's Yule tide!' much to Harry laughter and the head of Snakey's discomfort!

The next morning just when a pale, cold light was up against the snow outside Rincewind and Harry where woken with a start by Stibbons. Stibbons thin face looked worried. 'Come on you two, we need you, this Castle is under attack!' Stibbons looked at the two's troubled faces. 'Several, well they look like people but don't act like them. They look like those people your father once encountered so come on Rincewind, we might need you.'

'I'll come too,' cried Harry.

'That's the spirit!' said Stibbons.

But Rincewind didn't seem too eager to move. 'Excuse me, but why should I help you, it seems a bit dangerous to me!'

Stibbons sighed. He was beginning to get a bit annoyed with Rincewind's cowardice. 'Well for a start, what makes you think you'll be safer in here? Those creatures look like they could ambush you in here, all alone as the rest of us are outside. Also if you don't I will personally give you a paralysis spell. Fancy spending from now till Easter on a Sick bed unable to move any part of your body? Well, in that case, get going!' Rincewind got going! To be honest, Stibbons might have been over-reaching his authority threatening Rincewind like this, but Rincewind wasn't about to chance it.

Anyway a party consiting of Harry, Rincewind, Debbie, Trevor, Stibbons, The Doctor, Rose, The Head, Sniverley, and a few security Trolls and Dwarfs approached a corridor and Rincewind gasped as three figures walked towards them. 'That looks like them,' cried the Doctor.

Sniverley decided to take some action. He was either too brave or too stupid to be aware of the danger. He strode up in his normal authoritative manner, ignoring a cry from the Doctor. Rincewind wondered if he should warn Sniverley about what could happen next, but decided that Sniverley should find out by himself. Sniverley pointed his wand at one of the men and ordered, 'I am Stuart Sniverley a Teacher at Warby. With my authority I order you out of this Castle before you are prosecuted for trespass.'

The man looked impassively at Sniverley. There was something odd about him. Harry wondered what it was. Then with a gasp he realized. The man had no fingernails! Just as Harry was about to ask Debbie what type of creature this would be something even odder and indeed quite dangerous occured. The man's hand detached itself. Replacing it was a rather odd shape. 'Adva Kardavda!' cried Sniverley giving out the Wizards killing curse. But this had strangely little effect on the man.

From the stub of his ex-hand a blast was fired. Straight at Sniverley. In fact it was only a very quick duck that saved Sniverley. The other men did the same and fired at the others. 'Come on, fellows!' cried the Head. 'Let's blast 'em!' But this proved more difficult than it looked. Rincewind might have told Sniverley this. In fact he had told Sniverley this.

'If you had listened to me, you'd have known that those men, Autons, where quite tough,' said he.

'Why should I start listening to my students, should be the other way around, since when have you listened to anything I have taught you?' retorted Sniverley with some anger, added with a little frustration as he realized that Rincewind was correct. But considering there where not more than a dozen or so Autons as Rincewind had correctly identified the creatures as they should have been easily stopped by the Wizards, the students and the School authorities.

But such wasn't the case. Killing curses proved useless to the Autons. Even when they seemed to advance, unite with a few fellows and make their way purposely forward. 'They are heading for the magically restricted corridors, we've got to stop them doing that, it's not safe!' cried the Head as the Autons smashed through a few doors and kept a bit of covering fire towards those trying to stop them.

'Erm, why should they be heading for the magically restricted corridors, do you have anything valuable in their?' The Doctor quitely enquired of the Head.

The Head looked positively shifty. 'No reason, no reason at all. Weeeeeel, seen as you ask, I er, expect they just want to get some of our magical equitpment. Must stop them, however, some of that stuff is quite important to us!!' But the Head's body language and his nervous shifting did give out suggestions that there was something more important that the Autons might be looking for.

The Doctor looked at the Head. 'Head, if there's is something that could be valuable to them, you have to tell me soon, you can't leave me in the dark like this!' But the Head wasn't forthcoming. The Doctor sighed. But stopping the Autons did prove tricky. It was only when all of the Wizards fired collective fireball spells at them that they where eventually stopped in balls of flame. Or possibly a collapsing roof spell did the trick.

To rather unseeming cries of 'Cool,' from the Head as bits of the roof in his School fell down. There was definitely something in the character of the Head that did like a big explosion! Rincewind had quite an interesting time. For some reason a lot of the bolts from the Autons seemed to be aimed at him. One shot of his Wizard's hood much to his disdain, Rincewind did like his hood. On another occasion, Debbie had to cry out a warning to him or he would have missed the firebolt that was aimed straight for him.

But in all the fire and smoke Rincewind managed to go missing. He took a little break by himself in a quiet corridor and helped himself to a sweet. But outside a window he did see another Auton. One that was retreating. And Malloy was coming to it demonistrating a sense of heroisum once the real fighting was over. 'Ha, take some of that you ugly creature, we won't have you coming to this castle again in a hurry, tally-ho,' was a sample of his talk.

'Doesn't seem to realize the danger, does he?' said Rincewind to a boy from Snakey, a black-skinned lad called Sago.

'I suppose we really ought to help him, Malloy can't handle one of those by himself!' replied Sago.

Rincewind didn't look convinced. 'Should we? He's such an annoying little squirt is Malloy. Why don't we leave him to his own devices? He seems to be enjoying himself as it is!' Rincewind had little sympathy with Malloy and leaving him to die wouldn't be of great concern to him. At least not enough to risk himself for. But Sago felt more for Malloy.

'Yes, I know hes a bit of an idiot. But we really should help him. We don't really want him to die!'

Rincewind was curious about this statement. He was under the impression that the Snakey's where all little mates of Malloy. 'Well that's interesting, I thought you where all friend's in Snakey, you certainly give this impression.'

Sago laughed as he indicated Rincewind down the stairs to Malloy's rescue. 'Not necessarily. Things can get a bit clique in Snakey at times. Malloy and Sniverley sometimes do think that Snakey is a house for their own personal use but we don't all think that. It can sometimes be a bit annoying for those of us that believe that there is more too Snakey than Malloy and Sniverley. Anyway, be that as it may he needs our help, you coming?' Reluctantly Rincewind joined Sago.

They reached Malloy just in time and no other help came to him. Malloy with his blond hair and red robes was trapped behind a tree. The tables had been turned on him. The Auton had started firing upon him, Malloy's curse's had too little power behind him and the Auton had just found him and was preparing the killing shot. When Sago and Rincewind appeared to aid him. A number of fireball spells was launched at the creature and after a few minutes it exploded in flame, although not before it had managed to him both Rincewind and Malloy who both had to retire to the hospital wing.

And that was that for this attack. But although triumphant it was an object lesson for those at Warby about how tough the Autons could be. Plus the Doctor was curious about what exactly it was that the Autons where after it seemed more than just a practice raid to him. But the Head was not forthcoming about that. Malloy to be fair to him did thank Rincewind grudgingly for his aid but said, possibly rightly, 'A good thing you had some Snakey spunk to sort you out, that's how we do things in Snakey!' Rincewind snorted giving the new information about the house that Sago had told him.


	7. Chapter 7

Well the remainder of the hols came and went without incident. But in order to liven up the cold, dull days of January some excitement was created by the news that a special visitor was coming to Warby. None other than the great and mysterious Granny Weatherwax from the country. 'She is one of the greatest leaders, not that they have leaders of course, of the Witches, she can make great Kings tremble with her words, and others of course, I've heard that she has played poker with Death himself and survived!' cried Debbie breathlessly in her excitement.

Well, such was the interest in her that Granny had to appear on several different occasions. The one in which Harry's year was included was held at 9:00 on a Tuesday morning. Two years of students packed their way into the lecturer theatre. Attending as well where The Doctor and Rose and Stibbons who had all become caught up in the general interest. There was a hush as the door opened and in walked an old but tall lady, dressed in black with a very prominent hat which she seemed to treasure more than a wand which was rather casually thrust into the back of her belt.

Without much of a fuss she started to speak. But Harry couldn't help but notice that her lecturer seemed to be.......... unorthadox to say the least. Granny banged the front of her desk. 'So, you lot are the next generation, eh? Well, you seem to be full of learning. Making spells, but I hope you all know when to use them. Take me. A witch have been I for many a generation. But I can tell you that magic can be of two-edged use. Remember that most of the Disc can't use magic at all and they get resentful. You, Harry!' Granny pointed to Harry Potter. 'Anything to say,'

A little overawed Harry said nothing. 'Good, I don't like been upstaged by someone whose books sell more than mine, not that I care there is something called long-term appreciation, you know! You there, girl, what do you think you're doing?'

'Taking notes!' nervously replied Debbie.

'Well don't. Well, all right you can if you want. Can't abide taking notes. Never took any notes when I was young. Had to relly on experience. Which is something you are all going to have to do. Real life. That counts as much as learning. You have to know how to change a nappy from an ill baby as much as anything else. Without going to medical school. Can't abide Doctors. What do they know?'

A rather nervous Malloy put up his hand.

'Yes, and what do you want? Not that I can abide questions but speak up!'

'Are you saying that we shouldn't study for our exams?'

'Did I? Did I say that? Did you hear me say that? What a stupid question. Oh, well, never mind boy, you'll get yours! But that's what I do. I can't remember the last time I used a magic spell. Oh, yes I do, I think it was to change the royal destiny of Lancre. Weeeelll, when you change rules, make sure you change 'em big I always say! You there, boy!' Granny pointed to a terrified Trevor. 'You might have heard that I am on first name terms with Death. Know what I call him?'

Trevor stammered, 'Er, Mr. Death?'

'Yes, excellent. Well, without the Mr. I like that though clear thinking in a pupil. And another thing you should know about Death is that he is hopeless at the noble card came of Cripple Mr. Onion. Well, what else, oh excuse me, you Mr.' Granny pointed at Sniverley. 'I don't really know you, are you at this School?' Everyone not in Snakey laughed to see Sniverley so discomforted.

'Yes, I am a senior Master here.'

'Got any ID?'

'Of course!' said Sniverley putting his hand in his pocket. And in another pocket. And another.

'Well, you don't seem to be producing any. I might think you are an imposter. What have you to say?' Sniverley said nothing. 'Maybe you're looking for this?' said Granny and produced Sniverley's ID's from her own pocket much to Sniverley's annoyance and the students laughter. 'So, ok, I can do a few cheap tricks that any Ankh-Morkpian conjurer could do. But never mind. Remember that as good as I am, I do spend most of my days on the tops of mountains freezing to death. And I'ss enjoys it. Well, I think that is it from me it's goodbye from me and goodbye from him!' concluded Granny pointing to Sniverley.

'What a curious lecturer,' Harry commented to Debbie as they left the Lecture.

Debbie disagreed. 'Oh, you people just don't appreciate how great a Witch Granny Weatherwax is. She was just giving us another side to magic that's all' Debbie was correct of course.

A few days later, Harry was woken with a start in the morning. Firstly, he thought it might have been Pest the resident School poltergeist mucking about but no, it was a big bang. An explosion even. Not many others seemed to have noticed, but Harry did and he had a curious thinking that he might be required. He sneaked past the Losierum entrance and looked around the main hall in the cold, grey January morning. 'A bit cold, but what was that bang?' asked Trevor behind him.

'I'm not sure, uh-oh!' said Harry as a familiar looking man walked towards them. By his movement and expression, the boys feared this might be an Auton. A feeling confirmed as it took aim in the Auton manner and fired at them. 'Duck!' cried Harry though this was a little unnecessary. A firebolt hissed above them. Then a few more Autons moved in a purposeful manner.

'Looks like they are heading towards the restricted rooms again. They must be quite keen to get something there. Oh, look!' Harry pointed. Sniverley seemed to be acting suspiciously. He had dived down the corridors as though he didn't want to be seen and was following the Autons. 'Now this is suspicious, do you reckon he let them in?' asked Harry hopefully. Harry and Trevor followed Sniverley but lost track of him. 'He's gotta be in one of these rooms!' said Harry as they had seen Sniverley enter Dumbledore's corridor.

For a while the two checked the rooms. Then they opened one and saw Sniverley. With the Master. Sniverley was pointing his wand at the Master. Well, Harry was always a bit unsure about the Master's backbone was Sniverley about to murder the poor Teacher. He burst in. Sniverley looked around at him and cried, 'What do you think you're doing?' but then he would, wouldn't he?

'Paralysisum!' cried Harry, with feeling, giving Sniverley a paralysis spell. Well it worked to a degree and Sniverley was knocked to the ground, his wand flying away. Sniverley was conscious, however and looked furious. 'It's all right Sir, I've dealt with him!' but he noticed that there was a look about the Master and a gleam in his eye that he had not noticed before. 'Well, I've stopped you little game!' he growled to Sniverley.

Sniverley snapped back, 'What little game? I haven't got any. I was trying to stop the Master here!'

Harry looked back to the Master. Several pupils entered the room as well. The Master laughed. 'Oh, dear it looks like I am rumbled. Must admit, you have saved me a job I was about to dispose of Sniverley myself, no need now! Thank you for your aid.' The Master rubbed the black-Velvet gloves on his hands together. 'No, don't point your wands at me, thank you very much!' the Master snapped his fingers and the pupils pointed theirs at Harry.

'What, but why, what are you doing?' stammered Harry.

'Taking over your miserable Disc, that's what. Once you have been weakened irreparably in a Discwide magical conflict my Nestenes will break through, eliminate most of you save a few to be my slaves and rule the Disc as my personal empire.' The Master laughed evilly. 'Can't believe you where all taken in so easily by my Liberal teacher act. Even the Head is fooled. Oh, well, my revenge is about to come. With my army of Autons and Wizards under my control. The Imperious curse. I can do that well, remember,' The Master gave a click of his fingers and the 5 students all stood to attention pointing their wands at the Master's command. Harry did notice that they did seem to have a glazed look about them as though they didn't know what they where doing.

As Harry and Trevor stared open-mouthed, Sniverley snarled at them, 'And you have just helped him. Thank you very much.' Harry was a little impressed he couldn't help but admit. To operate an Imperious curse took considerable skill and control. To do it to large numbers of people was powerful magic work indeed. Especially coming from a non-wizard. But the Master must have done it somehow.

'Well, I can't stay here chatting here all day! I think it's time to dispose of you three.' But as the Master turned, there was sounds of fireballs and curses outside. Margaret, the head of house Loserium was in the corridor and with a couple of sixth-formers trying to fight the controlled pupils. A fireball streaked through the room and the Master swore and was forced outside.

In the meantime Rose was in an upper-corridor of the room. She saw the Master stride up. There was an ugly look to his eye so some instinct told her not to trust him. Rose ducked behind a statue. Then she saw the most extraordinary thing. A couple of pupils, Rose recognized them as fifth-formers was surrounded by the Master and his pupils. 'No, don't kill them, we can use them!' said the Master which was a surprising statement. He looked at the two pupils, Ron and Steve with staring eyes and said, 'There is one thing you need to know. I am the Master and you will obey me. I am the Master and you will obey me!' Ron and Steve's eyes glazed over and they both bowed at the Master.

Rose had seen hypnosis before though not quite on this scale. But this was enough for her to understand what was happening. She would have to tell someone and in the meantime be very careful of anyone she didn't trust. The Doctor was up and crouching on a wall. He was with the Head and Stibbons. Stibbons had bad news. 'The Autons have broken into the restricted section!'

The Head shook his head, 'This could be it then. Look, let's try to inform those with any authority!'

Then he was interrupted by the Doctor. 'Head, you have to tell me and no mucking about what is it that is in the Restricted corridor that is so important?' The Head looked at his feet and shuffled. 'Head, just tell me! Look if I'm supposed to be your ally, how can I help you to the best of my ability if I'm not fully informed?' You have to trust me here!'

The Head looked around and then sighed. He supposed there was no option. 'All, right, I'll tell you, but this is absolutely top secret, ok? If even word of this gets around to some people it will certainly be more than my job is worth and could possibly mean imprisonment for you. Technically speaking I'm breaking my Wizards Oath by telling anyone this, but never mind.' The Doctor nodded in agreement at the sincerity's of the Head's words.

'Fine,' continued the Head. 'Many years ago we of the Western powers for want of a better term developed magicial weapons that could be fired into the countries of our enemies or any potential enemies that we had. Now in the days when the world was dangerous, or at least the danger was more transparent these weapons where mass-produced and under control. And it was decided to keep the controlling device here in Warby as the safest place on the Western Disc. At least in theory. Basically we have a device there in the restricting sections that could ignite enough magical destruction to wipe out half of the Eastern countries, even those we don't particularly have a quarrel with.

'And I might point out that this won't be instant. The Eastern countries have their own versions if smaller of this device. But if this gets launched willy-nilly if someone insane gets control of this they will find out and knowing the nature of their leaders, won't show much patience. Trust me, if this device is set of there will be retaliation and three-quarters of this disc will be destroyed.'

'Ah,' said the Doctor, 'A bit like that little red Nuclear button in the Oval office,'

'What?' spluttered the Head, confused.

'Never mind. But I think I see your problem. If some Alien entity takes control of all your magical weapons, they could cause Discwide destruction. Well, look take to me to the controlling device and I will have a look and see what I can do. I might be able to disable it or increase it's defences or something. We'll see!' The Doctor, Stibbons and the Head were joined by Rose.

'Doctor, you'll never believe what I've just seen........'

'Not right now, Rose I'm busy,' The Doctor cut her off. The small party ran to the restricted section. But not before 2 Autons had made it there first. With the Master. The Doctor recognized the Master in an instant. They where old Enemies and both Timelords in fact. 'You!' cried he in frank astonishment, 'What are you doing here?'

The Master laughed at him, 'Surprised to see me, Doctor? Now that's no way to welcome a fellow Timelord. But I have to admit, not as surprised as I was to see that you somehow managed to fumble your way into these parts. Do you know the lenghts I had to go to just to make sure we didn't accidentally bump into each other. Still it's over now. I've just started the countdown to the destruction of civilized life on this disc. What a pity.'

'Master, look!' started the Doctor, but the Master was flanked by a couple of pupils he had under his control.

'Fire!' commanded the Master and the Doctor had to duck the bolts from the pupils wands. Fortunately at this point, back-up arrived. Sniverley, Harry and Trevor rushed up along with 4 sixth and seventh formers to their aid.

'We where bought here by Professor Roberts. She seemed to think there was trouble and gathered a few of us to go to some of the places that could be under attack. This was one of the prime possibilities.' At the same time Malloy puffed up with Sago. But everyone had to duck again as more curses travelled their way from the Master's pupils.

Harry called out, 'Don't go for the killing curse. It's not very reliable all the time and really we don't want to kill any pupils that are under the Imperious curse, do we they could yet be freed!' With the aid of the Head and Sniverley the non-imperious controlled Wizards triumphed for the moment. The Master was forced to flee hurriedly. Some rushed after him.

'Never mind too much looking for him now, we have to get to this device,' The Doctor urged. But there was a problem. The entrance to the room was blocked by a large metallic doorway. It was magically locked and no amount of opening spells would move it. Even a fireball spell would have been useless and counter-productive as it might set of an unbreachable explosion. The Doctor shook his head and tried to used his Sonic Screwdriver. 'No good, I can't even reverse polarity,' said he.

Then Trevor of all people called out, 'Polarius, nuetron reversallly!' and the door clicked open.

'What did you do!' cried the Doctor in joy.

'Reversed the polarity of the neutron flow. By magic! Seen as your screwdriver couldn't do it!'

'Hmmm, well done, now, what's this?'

The party rushed into the room. Rose saw quite a few obviously magical devices. A few paintings where on the wall, but they where of far away places. 'Targets!' said Trevor to her which dampened her enthusiasm of them as she thought the paintings where quite attractive. But by a wall was a computer with a large screen showing a number which was counting down.

'That's it!' said Stibbons. The MAD device. Mutually Assured Destruction. Idea was that just the knowledge that all this underlying magic could be tapped and unleashed would deter any potential enemy. Highly controversial theory though most of the Western world accepted it. However the idea was that it would never be used and even then with only with the approval of the Western alliance. Unfortunately the Master appears to have overridden that and set it off. Must have taken the knowledge of a genius to do that!' Stibbons shook his head.

'In the days of more warm international relations, it was suggested that this system be scrapped, but it was kept if for no other reason it had been kept for so long that it was difficult for Governments to imagine life without it. Also more magic kept on been added it every year. Kept many Wizards employed as a matter of fact,' growled the Head grimly.

Rose kept her attention upon the countdown. It said 500. Then 498, 497, 496......... Was there less than 500 seconds to go before this Disc ended, thought she. But with energy, the Doctor leaped to the computer and flicked open the manual and looked. Well for about 100 seconds he flicked through the various pages and read them all into his quite incredible TimeLord brain. What would take a human years to learn he had managed to read it and calculate it all in seconds.

He grabbed the keyboard and started typing frantically. 'I'm not sure I can do this in time, but I think I know the abort procedure,' said he grimly as his fingers danced across the keyboards.

'Doctor,' coughed Rose,

'Don't interrupt Rose, dear, this is complicated you know!'

'Doctor,' said Rose a bit more forcefully. The Doctor didn't reply concetrating on his keywork.

'Doctor!' Rose snapped even more loudly.

'Yes, Rose, what is it, be quick,' The Doctor replied, 350, 349, 348, went the coutdown.

'Thought I should tell you, you haven't logged on yet!'

'Ah, yes, thought the console was a bit unresponsive, one minute, thank you my dear!' said the Doctor.

Stibbons was less than impressed by this. He had little faith in the Doctor's abilities on this one. 'Bye, bye, Disc,' he was thinking. But the Doctor's fingers flew across the keyboard. A large variety of screens, colours and pages swept through the console screen. Even passwords that took a genuis to crack the Doctor seemed to manage to break in an instant.

As he worked in a brief pause the Doctor looked up. 'You know, I happen to be able to see a target where one of these super lightening bolts are going to land.' He stared down at the screen. 'Some place called Anti-Morphus, no Ankh-Millie, no Ant-Morpork, no Ankh-Morpork is that correct?' Stibbons looked in even more horror at this information. Ankh-Morpork was his home city and one of the major cities in this region of the Disc. He had thought that recent relations between Warby and Ankh-Morpork weren't too bad but obviously no-one had bothered to take them off the target list.

The countdown continued remoursely with unforgiving speed. Stibbons had never realized quite how quick a second was, 50, 49, 48. Surely no-one could stop this now. 'Right, abort procedure initialized, I just hope this thing responses in time!' declared the Doctor, giving the computer a good hard thump for emphazis. Still not much seemed to change. 10, 9, 8 went the countdown.

'Bye, bye, Disc!' Stibbons was thinking saying his prayers and he wasn't the only one. The countdown went, 5, 4, 3....... then suddenly stopped. A messaged appeared on the countdown,

'Countdown aborted. ABORT! Back to initial status!' and the countdown went back up to 1000 and stayed there. Pandemonium broke out. People clapped, cheered and slapped the Doctor on the back and he gave a modest version of high-fives. The Head breathed a deep sigh of relief. For a moment, everyone relaxed and didn't pay much attention to anything. It was fortunate that Malloy of all people, did.

'Doctor, one magical bolt is still firing,' he noticed.

The Doctor looked around, 'Yes, it's possible that one was on a jump-start!'

'Well, don't stand there gawping, everyone!' cried Malloy and used the computer to track the bolt and to delete it. One could do this with one magical missle, the problem been when there where hundreds of them. 'Where was that one aimed for?' asked he.

The Head looked, 'It would appear that it was the Shire. Hmmmm, and a magical missile that size would have destroyed it utterly with no survivors. That's the land of the Hobbits. You've just saved them, Malloy, well done! In a Disc balanced between good and evil, order and chaos, The Shire is in fact a crucial strategic factor in the civilized Disc. The destruction of it would have been a bad evil which the Disc would have found it hard to recover from.' Which was true. But in fact, Malloy wasn't that happy about saving the Hobbits, he had always found them irritating.

As had Harry, 'Well done, Malloy, you've saved the Hobbits!' said he, laughing!

'Well, what now?' asked the Head.

'Well, the Master is still running around free, many of your students are under the Imperious curse and the Nestenes are trying to break through from the Dungeon Dimensions with the intentions of conquest. I suggest we get out of here and try looking for him, don't you?' snapped the Doctor with a sigh. Everyone dived out the room and headed for the main hall as a meeting point.

But didn't get far. There was a cry of, 'LOOK OUT!' from Pest and an explosion causing fire, the fire alarms to go of and various magical sprinklers. The Doctor was thrown backwards and down a few flight of stairs. When the smoke cleared, he couldn't see anyone for a while. Then he saw a familiar figure ahead of him. A rather cowardly familiar figure, actually. Rincewind cowering in a corner.

'You're not very safe there, I suggest you come with me!' said the Doctor.

'Travelling with you is safer is it?' asked Rincewind unconvinced, but did accompany him. When The Doctor, using his sonic screwdriver managed to find where the Master was. He ran through several corridors then found him. Apparently trapped by half the students of the School. This was some relief, he and Rincewind marched up to him and the Doctor had some advice for the Students.

'Whatever you do, don't let him go, but don't harm him either. He might have information,'

'Your your usual pompus self, Doctor. Don't harm him. How touching. But you see, your concern is mis-placed,' The Master chuckled, confidentially, evilly. There was an edge of his voice and a look in the Master's eye that was suddenly of concern to the Doctor. The Master snapped his fingers. Every student, all male by the way, turned and pointed their wands at the Doctor and Rincewind. 'These students are under my control. As are all the rest. In fact, you might say that the entire castle is under my control now,' after saying this the Master snapped his fingers again and many of the Students flew away on various errands. Seeing the look of astonishment on the Doctor's face the Master laughed, insanely, 'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'


	8. Chapter 8

All bad guys intent on conquest laugh like this everywhere. Why do they do this? Must be something in the genes! The Master snapped a command, 'Take those two to a secure corridor and execute them, that large one three doorways down with the picture of the fairy-queen and her subjects,'

'Now, look, Master, one minute!' stammered the Doctor.

'No way, Doctor I'm not listening to anything you have to say!' said the Master with a dismissive wave of his hand. The Doctor and Rincewind where lead away by a patrol of eight students, the Master was taking no chances. They where lead down 3 gloomy corridors as the Master had commanded. Was it Rincewind's imagination or had the Castle taking on a particularly grim persona? The Doctor and Rincewind where flung inside. One person spotted them with a screech. Rose.

She made an attempt to help but the leader of the patrol, Wood, said, 'Bind the girl, but don't harm her. I think the Master wants to use her.'

'Oh, in what way?' asked Rose, looking a bit suggestive.

'I've heard you make good chips!' said Wood a bit to Rose's disappointment. The Doctor and Rincewind where pushed into the room beneath a large picture which the Master had described. Rincewind looked around. He was never that good at the killing curse or the stunning one, but to take out eight? The Doctor fiddled desperately with his Sonic screwdriver for whatever good that would do. 'Goodbye Doctor, Rincewind,' said Wood and the eight raised their wands and there was a blinding flash.

Rincewind closed his eyes. Was he dead? Cautiously he opened them again, no he was still here with the Doctor and the students of the Master appeared to be on the floor unconscious. What had happened? There seemed to be a newcomer to the room. Of all things it was the fairy-queen in the large painting come to life and had stepped out of it. 'Thought I'd give you people a helping hand. You seemed to be in a spot of bother,' explained she.

'Hold on, I recognize you, you're not a fairy-queen, you're an Elven-queen, Melian to be precise, what brings you here, I thought you where in Doriath,' asked the Doctor.

'Maia Queen if we are been really precise. Well, almost a holiday, really. For some reason in the depths of my realm I am capable of appearing in forms in this Disc via a painting or, rather, paintings. It's quite complicated, actually. Fortunate for you, that is, I have been a little suspicious of the Master for a while and so I've decided to take a closer eye on things here. ' she winked.

'Oh, well, can you sort him out for us?' asked Rincewind.

'Afraid not. I'm not your personal trouble-shooter, you know! Besides I can only appear within a certain range of one of these pictures. But I'm pleased to help you out of a spot!' Several leaves fell of Melian's cloak as she paced around.

Rose replied, 'Well, thanks for your help. And hadn't you better be getting away? You have you're own problems, don't you?' Rose happened to know a thing or two about that character. Melian smiled, shook their hands, The Doctor bowed and Rose curtsied and Melian disappeared back into her painting. The Doctor, Rose and Rincewind pondered their next move. 'What do we do with these?' asked Rose indicating the unconscious pupils.

'Not much we can do, really, we don't want to kill them, it's not their fault they are controlled after all. Let's try to have as few casualties in this situation as possible. Rincewind, dear fellow can you contrive a comatose spell? No permanent damage as I say, just keep them out of action for a day or so!' suggested the Doctor. Well even Rincewind could manage this.

'Lets hope these are unusual times as I could get expelled for this in theory,' Rincewind muttered.

In the meantime the Master was hurrying to the Dungeons of the castle. He was coming to a large, wooden doorway with a considerable array of locks, bars and keys. No matter, he used the keys to open the brown door to the chamber which would be the entrance to the Dungeons. The Dungeons had, of course, not been actually used as Dungeons for many years, but there was still an evil feeling about it. Little natural light entered it, the floor was stony and many insects scuttled underfoot. There where a few paintings on the stony walls, but despite the Heads best efforts even these couldn't escape the general gloomy feel.

But this was the ideal spot for the next stage of the Master's plan. A dimensional invasion of the Discworld by the Nestenes. But it would take a little while to set up the appropriate relay system. As he started he was interrupted by one of the Autons. 'I bring information to you from the Nestene High Command,' it informed the Master. The Master stared at the creature. Well, creature was stretching it, actually. The Autons which the Master used had no will of their own. They where just an extension of the powers of the Nestenes.

This one was a leader of sorts, or at least the Nestenes had put more of their power into it. It continued, 'The Nestene High Command is displeased by your actions so far. We where informed that by now the Disc would be in rubble and conquest would be easy. We do not see that you have even secured this school yet you are continuing with the invasion. How do you justify these actions?'

The Master's attitude was firstly, 'The cheeky little....... after all I've done for them,' but then there was no point in getting mad at it. It was only a tool after all, it didn't think for itself. He explained. 'This is the Disc. Conquering this world is not easy, it's an independent world of it's own after all. But we are on the verge of triumph. No-one can stop us now. Just take it easy!'

'Fine, but we will take you explanation under advisement!'

'Yes, and so shall I,' muttered the Master to himself. Just then there was a sound in one of the corners. 'Now, what was that?' said the Master and he looked around. 'Ah, Debbie. Get up. What where you doing hiding in there?' Debbie had been hiding under a table and looked up at the Master with a bit of an embarrassed smile as he had found her.

Debbie thought she might as well tell the truth on this one. 'I thought you might be heading over here. It was the next logical step for you. I made an attempt to come and intercept you!'

'An enterprising young lady. Suppose there had to be one!'

'Yes, what has happened to all the girl pupils by the way?'

'Oh, I got rid of them. They ain't going to be of any use to me. Girls aren't much good,'

'Nice, but how!'

'Quite simple. Told them that Daniel Cribbons was coming to visit the nearby village of Hogsmeade. Should have heard the stampede as they all left!' Daniel Cribbons was an unimportant but very famous celebrity which many of those of a female persuasion admired. 'But what am I going to do with you? Oh, well, might as well be this! I am the Master and you will obey me, I am the Master and you will obey me!' The Master's eyes bore deeply into Debbie's.

Debbie quickly looked away saying, 'You are the Master and I will obey you!'

'Excellent, now go and join the others. Try and find your friends that are still at large for me!'

Debbie hurriedly scampered off.

'Ouch!' said Rincewind looking up. He was still in the company of the Doctor, but they had both just walked across a ledge that had been weakened in an explosion and dropped down a couple of levels with a nasty bump. Rose hadn't joined them. She couldn't get through the fire and smoke. 'Hope she'll be all right,' Rincewind commented.

'She's probably just wandered of somewhere. She usually is,' The Doctor replied. 'Mind, now we have to look to ourselves. Or maybe the castle. Somehow we have to stop the Master from transmitting the Nestenes to this dimension and planet. If he achieves that, they will be unstoppable. Any ideas?' The Doctor looked across to his companion.

'We keep our head down?' Suggested Rincewind as some Master-controlled pupils flew by.

'Brilliant,' sighed the Doctor sarcastically. But to be honest there wasn't really much he could do at the moment. The Doctor was wondering if he should try some desperate last-ditch attempt to stop the Master. But that was about as far as his plan went.

In the meantime, Harry and Trevor where really doing much the same thing. 'Duck,' cried Harry and the two cowered as some pupils flew past. Trevor in particular wasn't very happy. He had been forced to run to escape a few of Master-controlled pupils but had not seen a stature of Fred the clever and had banged his shin hard, causing blood and putting him out of action and in pain for the rest of the day.

Harry to his horror saw Debbie flying nearby. 'I think the enemy is around here somewhere. Scout around and lets have a little look,' The other pupils obeyed her. Harry was just thinking she hadn't noticed them when to his horror, she spotted him and knocked over his hiding place. Before Harry could move, Debbie had pointed her wand, shouted, 'Disarmallus,' and both of Harry's and Trevor's wands flew away. Well, Debbie always quicker on the draw than those two.

'This way,' commanded Debbie and Harry and Trevor where forced to walk to an empty room.

They both faced her, disarmed. 'Well, I have wondered what a Imperious curse feels like!' said Trevor.

'What? Oh, you think I am one of the Master's people, do you?'

'Well, you certainly look like it. And act like it. And I've heard it said that the Master controlled you,' replied Harry.

Debbie then burst out, 'No, I'm not. Look, The Master did try to control me and put the Imperious curse upon me, but he didn't succeed. He nearly did, I grant you, but I looked away just in time and pretended to be under his spell. Fortunately he believed me and didn't investigate too close. Think he was a bit distracted actually. Anyway, better than that, I before I broke off heard the keyword for the Imperious curse. You know, the one that can break people free from it. I think I might be able to free those that are under his control.'

The two looked at her unbelieving. 'Gods you are more stupid than usual, aren't you?' Debbie sighed. 'All right,' Debbie picked up their two wands, and her own and handed them over to both of them. 'There you go. If you think I am one of them, comatose me. Though then you might have to figure out how to fight an entire school just about on your own. Go on then, make your mind up!'

The Doctor and Rincewind where in the North wing of the school. The Doctor was trying to explain to Rincewind how he could use his Sonic Screwdriver to incapacitate those in the way and destroy any link to the dungeon dimensions. Rincewind was explaining that with the opposition running into thousands of controlled students, this plan's chance of success was minimal. There was then a bang outside.

'What was that,' cried the Doctor. It appeared to be one of the Giants that sometimes roamed in the forests. It was with Rincewind's friend, Drixilla. Drixilla seemed to be involved in a desperate fight with the creature which was more than 30ft tall. 'The poor man hasn't a chance, we have to help him, we can jump out of the windows!' suggested the Doctor.

Rincewind was horrified by this suggestion. 'What? We'll be killed for sure!'

'But if we don't help him he will be! I thought he was your friend!'

'Not as friendly to get myself killed for him. Come on, Doctor, stay focused we need you to save the disc!'

Next, the two passed a young boy that was on the floor having broken his leg and crying. It was heart-rending and the Doctor was about to help the young lad. Rincewind's attitude was the shame. 'Hold on, Doctor, we will be in range of some wands if we do that. Look, the lad's not dead, but we might very well be if we reveal ourselves. Come on!'

Then there was some Dwarfs outside. The Dwarfs had been useful in blocking some of the Master's powers and unable to be hypnotised. But now they where trapped and the students were about to deliver at least painful if not fatal blows. The Doctor was again moving to help. Rincewind did not and tapped the Doctor's arm. The Doctor looked at Rincewind and sighed. 'You know, I get the feeling you are not the type of person that would share a last-ditch stand over friendship,' There was quite a ruthless nature to Rincewind's cowardice at times!

'You've got me bang to rights, there, Doctor, that's true!'

Rincewind and the Doctor where hiding behind a statue. Rincewind said to the Doctor, 'One things puzzles me,'

'What why you have the biggest streak of yellow than anyone I have ever met, and believe me I have met a few!'

'No, not that. The Master. Why is he doing this? I mean basically, what's in it for him?'

The Doctor shrugged, 'That'll he'll become the supreme ruler of the Disc?'

'But he won't will he, Doctor? The Nestenes will. And besides I'm not sure there will be much of a Disc for him to rule after the Nestenes have finished with it. Then what? He can't survive on a Disc basically by himself, can he? Oh, well, that's the trouble with people like the Master. For all of their genius, they can be quite wolly thinkers at times.' Rincewind huddled down further.

The Doctor looked at him strangely. 'Do you know you might be right about that. Well, well,'

After a bit of a pause, Trevor and Harry did believe Debbie. Or at least had decided to take a chance. 'Ok, so we decide to believe you, but what do we do now, we still have virtually an entire castle of hypnotised students to deal with?' asked Harry.

'Well, now we have a chance at least. What we have to do as far as I can tell it is to try and corner a few of the Students. Stun them, which won't be easy, but we could do it, free them from the Imperious curse with the keyword, then with them on our side gradually take over the School again. I just hope we can do that in time and stop the Master in his plans, otherwise........' was Debbie's answer. So it was that Harry and Trevor where hiding waiting for the appropriate number of students to arrive.

Actually, they where perched like eagles near the roof. This was a little idea of Harry's to try and use some aerial advantage. But it was a little wait before a number of students came by which they felt they could deal with. And even then, Debbie had to take a hand saying, 'You people there, the Master wants you to search the south wing. You 5 stick with me,' and the students had to split up. At the correct time, Harry and Trevor dived down at the others from behind, showered them with stunning spells before they where expecting it with a blinding flash.

Using the keyword, the 5 students where revived and freed from the Master's control, wandering what had exactly happened to them. 'Come on, no time for rest, we need to free the rest of the castle if we can!' snapped Debbie. Well, gradually this was done, though it took all day and evening and didn't prove to be easy. Many did fight back and casualties occurred. Smoke and flames bellowed throughout the building providing an eerie atmosphere. Pest the poltergeist was managed to be hit in the crossfire. A few teachers where released from the staff-room where they had been besieged.

Harry had the satisfaction of seeing Sniverley been grudgingly grateful for been rescued. His own head of house, Margaret Roberts was more gushing in her thanks. But things weren't over yet. The Master was still hold up in the Cellars and this was heavily guarded. The Doctor and the Head where the first to arrive. Some of the teachers attacked the Auton guards who had to move away in a pitched but losing battle. With a magic spell, the doorway opened and the Doctor and the Head entered.

To see a most unusual sight. In the middle of the large cellar a large, transparent, squilly, octopus-like creature was on the floor. The Master turned and gloated. 'All very amusing, but you're too late Doctor. See the Nestenes are getting through. And when they do we will have control of every dark side and many more magical element in the Disc.'

'Not yet. That creature hasn't gotten through. We could still through it back with my Sonic Screwdriver.'

'No way, Doctor you couldn't do it in time.' Gloated the Master.

'Not by myself, but I might with help.'

'No human can help you, that Nestene is too powerful for them. The Radioactive residue don't you know. And there's no way you have time to do it by yourself. Don't worry Doctor, I like you. If you beg for mercy I could spare you yet!' Sneered the Master his face looking like the devil itself in his small but prominent beard as the Nestene gradually became more solid.

'I might if you helped me!' Suggested the Doctor.

The Master laughed, 'Why should I help you?'

The Doctor pointed at the creature. 'Master, as usual your plans are the mixture of the genius and the totally insane. Think that thing is going to recognize any difference between you and us? Think it is even aware of the fact? If it does it certainly is not going to trust you as an individual and it will be too powerful just for you. Don't blame it for not trusting you in fact with your record. Anyway, the first act of the new Nestene rulers will be to execute you!'

The Head decided it was time for him to take a hand. 'That's one reason. And here's another. You might well be a................ TimeLord is it? But I think I have the power to summon up the most deadly poisonous Scorpion in the entire disc and land it at your neck. I'd like to see you survive a bite of that!' The Head dramatically raised his wand.

The Master stroked his beard thoughtfully. The Doctor's words had hit a bit of a nerve. Truth to tell he hadn't really thought about what he would do after the invasion. Perhaps relations between himself and the Nestenes had become a little strained, he thought thinking of the Autons last words to him. Plus there was the matter of the Head and the Scorpion threat. TimeLords are pretty remarkable creatures. They live for thousands of years. They can survive many things that humans cannot and have much tougher bodies. But a bite from the type of Scorpion that the Head threatened him with would kill him just as much as a mere human. All in all, maybe it was time to change sides.

'All right, then, You'll put in a good word for me, Doctor,' agreed the Master.

'A better one than you're likely to get with them. Come on, let's get on with it,' The Doctor suggested. Working together, the Master and the Doctor both came close to the creature, close enough for the Doctor to feel the radiation from the Nestene. 'Full power, let's zap this thing back to where it came,' commanded the Doctor. But the Nestene struggled. It waved it's tentacles, and the air around it turned a dark blue.

'It's still trying to get through!' cried the Doctor.

'It's not giving up, this one! But it's coming too early without it's power fully gathered, Come on Doctor, hit it with our screwdrivers, I doubt it can cope with fire from both of us!' countered the Master. There was a cackle in the air, some smoke blew and there was an immense flash and explosion. Then a pause. The Doctor and the Head looked at the creature. It was motionless and quite dead. The Doctor gave it a cautionary prod.

'Looks like it's dead, Doctor!' said the Head triumphantly.

The Doctor was a little sad. 'Yes, shame it had to come to this. Poor thing obviously couldn't cope with the transfer after our force.'

'Oh, get real Doctor it was trying to destroy all life on the Disc, you know!' snapped the Head. 'But you managed to destroy it, well done!' The head's attitude towards trans-dimensional creatures was possibility a bit more realistic than the Doctors. 'Does that mean this situation is over now?' the Head asked the Doctor. The Doctor sighed,

'Yes, though if it hadn't been for..........' The Doctor went to indicate the Master but he had disappeared!

'Damn man's on the run!' cried the Head. 'I'll send anyone I can spare to look for him!' but they didn't find him. The Master slipped onto his own Tardis he had nearby though not without encountering a fallen beam first. He looked up. There was a wavey atmosphere and a thin, skeleton creature with a robe and a scythe and blue eyes came to greet him.

'YOU ARE!' said Death then paused. He looked at his scythe then at the Master. 'YOU'RE ANOTHER BLOODY TIMELORD, AREN'T YOU!' and Death disappeared. With that the Master was through a secret passageway in the School and to his own Tardis where he slipped away and was never seen by anyone in the Disc again and it is fair to say that neither missed the other.

Well, all of the main participants in this drama where gathered in the Heads office for a final chat. After the Doctor's summing up, Harry did a bit cheekily suggest, 'You know, seen as it's members have been responsible for saving the Disc, I was wondering if some housepoints for Loserium would be in order it's not like we get many!'

But before the Head could speak, Sniverly spoke up much to Rincewind's disappointment. He snarled, 'Well, by a combination of luck and possibly just stupid bravery, I award 5 points to Loserium for their contribution. All those in Loserium where astonished that Sniverly had given them any points at all! This was the first time in Warby history such an event had occurred. But Sniverly soon made up for it. 'But for his outstanding judgement, courage and intelligent where all others had failed, for saving the Hobbits and therefore preventing economic catastrophe on the Disc I award 20 points to Snakey for Malloy! Plus as I had saved your lives earlier on anyway, oh a further 10 points to Snakey, I think!'

Even Sago laughed at this rather odd interpretation of events. Disc-threatening events or no Disc-threatening events, Sniverley wouldn't change! To Debbie it reminded her of some debates they sometimes had in Loserium, one common one been, 'The House Cup is a pointless display of biased point awarding and little to do with real school achievements!' Then Drixilla growled, 'Personally I'd feel like docking yer a few for yer pathetic attempts with me. Don't think I didn't see you failing to save me, Rincewind!'

Drixilla was covered in bruises, cuts and scratches, Rincewind noticed. 'Well, you know, you survived!' said he.

'Ner thanks to yer. Remind yer of that next time yer visit!' Drixilla growled.

There was one sad fact to report. The Head did ask what the casualty situation was. Many had been injured indeed, but there had been a few fatalities. Amongst the young pupils too. 'We did everything possible to avoid this, but this was impossible. Some of the Students under the Imperious curse where just too good and manage to kill some of us. Ten have died in this affair.'

The Head sighed sadly. To lose even one pupil he considered a tragedy to have ten die certainly put a certain sadness about the entire situation.

But the events was now over. After a week or so there was good news from the international field. Now that those under the control of the Imperious curse where freed, states suddenly became much more reasonable to each other and warmer relations ensued. The Doctor decided it was time to leave and leave the Disc to itself. Rose was sorrowful at this parting, but as the Doctor had said, 'To be fair, Rose, we have spent far more time here than we usually spend on places!'

But in the final days, Rose did appreciate the pupils, the Teachers, the castle, even it's ghosts, paintings, corridors, the hills and air outside, the neighbouring villages. Sure the Disc would still have its problems, but at least it had a chance of sorting it out by itself, compared to what the Nestenes had prepared for it. So she, the Doctor and Harry, whom the Doctor had decided to give a lift back at least to Kings Cross station and Harry was assured he could make it back from their returned to the Tardis where a group of their companions gave them a tearful farewell.

Both Debbie and Rose where sharing a hankie, sniffing at their parting. Well, Rincewind was in tears too actually and with a sigh, Debbie passed him a hankie. 'Well, sad as it is, we really must be of. Harry, too, he has to return to Hogwarts at some time! I have quite enjoyed my time here in a way, though this must be one of the strangest places I have ever visited!' He gave a wink at Stibbons. 'But as I say it is better we go now. Come along now, Rose, Harry, Farewell everyone!' With their goodbyes, The Doctor, Harry and Rose entered the Blue Box shaped device capable of travelling in Time and Space known as the Tardis.

With a wheezing, groaning noise like that of a thousand trumpeting elephants, the Tardis vanished into thin air as it went on it's next travels. To Earth, as one might have guessed. The Head looked a bit puzzled. He waddled into the patch of ground where the Tardis had once been. Then he grinned. 'Ah, well that's magic,' he said!

THE END.


End file.
